What exactly IS a Perky Paradox?…I’m so glad you’ve asked!

February 8th, 2010

this week on Tommymom, there will be not one, but T-W-O giveaways….why? because I love you!

you, the readers,” rock my world”, “float my boat”, “ring my bell”, whatever cutsie little saying you’d like to apply…i’m game, babycakes! so in the spirit of Valentine’s Day and all, I want you to “feel the love!”

i have noticed that there is a serious lag in conversation…and…it means one of three things, or possibly all of them.

1. you’ve all come down with a near-fatal case of laryngitis that causes paralysis of the fingers as well

2. i’m standing in an empty “auditorium”, tapping the microphone loudly (THUMP, THUMP, THUMP) trying to see if it’s really “on”

3. you’re all dying to say something, but need to be bribed.

I’m personally going with number three, knowing the caliber of the readers here, so feel free to chime in and see what the TWO FABULOUS MYSTERY PRIZES will be!

Winners will be announced next Monday right here on Tommymom.com. so stay tuned!  and keep those comments coming for your chance(s) to win!…there will be plenty to talk about this week!

now, a word from our sponsor.

this post is continued from February 3, 2010…

I would like to be able to tell you that the “she was going down” reference in my prior “PK/PP” post…

eluded to my driving need to defend my little brother.

That would be a shameful lie.

I was out to protect the most valued individual in my mind in this particular situation.

Myself.

I was not going to mingle with duck droppings.

On any level.

And besides…”she was going down” is merely a historical reference.

Because she was.

The bucket as mentioned, was a 5 gallon beauty that was filled to the top at the scene of the crime.

DeDe was no wimp.

She was farm bred stock through and through.

She hoisted that baby up and out of that pond faster than you could run for the highest hill.

Well, almost…

That’s where I had happened to relocate when I saw my brother’s need.

And did nothing.

I’m “there” for him like that from time to time in life.

It’s what older sister’s do that have appearance issues…

Sacrifice the weaker link for the greater good.

The force from the dump, caused DeDe to take a step backwards…

and she was standing on some very slippery “ground”.

The rapid shift in the weight of the bucket threw her off balance right along with my brother.

Down they went…

into the pond…

the contents of which, to this day, I’d rather not contemplate.

And just in case you’re wondering…

Tim’s pants were no longer white.

They began to laugh…

and laugh…

and laugh.

I was still in shock.

DeDe looked up, smiled and said very cheerfully…

“Oh, come on!…this is so much better!”

We’re having fun and we’re on equal ground now!

I’m still not certain that this defined the reality of the moment,

but it definitely defined the beginning of a friendship.

That has lasted 40 years.

Right about here, I’m feeling somewhat obligated to define the “perky paradox” piece.

If you’ve ever seen “Green Acres”…

you’ll be able to go with this…

we’ll begin with this post and elaborate more later.

You see…

I had pretty much ONE IMPRESSION of “Life on a Farm” in those days…

Farmer & daughter

It was most certainly coming out loud and clear in my interaction with our newfound community as well.

Looking back…

I was the one that deserved the “duck dropping bomb.”

I was in desperate need of an attitude adjustment.

I thank God every time I think about that incident…

that I DID get the attitude adjustment…

and my brother got the bomb!

My dad came out of the house to load up for evening service…

saw the condition of my brother,

tipped back his head and howled…

and got a towel for him to sit on during church!

He was totally unfazed.

See, my dad saw the influence that the “uber-city chicks” were having on his daughter.

He didn’t care for it one bit.

In fact, I found out later, he was quite concerned.

He didn’t choose to resond by just totally cutting those girls off…

he chose to redirect me to new pursuits, friendships and interests.

Contrast that with so many people’s parenting style today…

they feel “trapped”, “unvalidated” in their pursuits at parenting, so the focus is on themselves…

“they need a break”…so many times this results in play dates and liasions that aren’t closely monitored for

content…

worldview…

overall influence.

Parents wanting a strong foundational basis for Leadership Education and it’s ultimate goal…

see things from a totally different perspective…

CORE is the most critical phase…

it influences who you will become.

CORE is static…

as you will see later on in this story through example,

you are forced to draw upon it throughout your life.

It is paramount to choices…

actions…

decisions.

Influence.

Are you keeping a solid pulse on your CORE?

What about your the CORE phase of your children?

Part of the mission of Tommymom is to keep it real, folks.

Yessirree…

No “slappin’ a happy face on it” over here for the sake of community.

We’re gettin’ down and dirty…

Honest.

Humble.

Which is why I’m going to show you how farm life really looked back then.

Here’s DeDe in 1972…upstairs in the bedroom of the “old house”…

where, if you look at the slant on the right hand “wall”…

which is really a ceiling…

you’ll know why, when we sat upright too quickly from the beds…

we were rarely in our right minds!

Diana Dec 1972

may I just say here how much I love her?

She about had a coronary when I said that I was using this photo…

to illustrate the level of “farm chic” that was flowing freely in that decade, and upon which I’m going to elaborate further…

and then let me use it anyway!TeriSig

more on the paradox piece next week…stay tuned!





Blowing the Myth of Perfection to Pieces: Angela Baker

February 5th, 2010

You are in for a real treat today, my friends! I could sit at the feet of Angela Baker for days and still come away wanting more. Her grasp of Organic TJEd through faithful application of The Seven Keys and The Four Phases is amazing! We in Southern California are privileged, in that she will be speaking at the FATJEF April 24, 2010. If you have not yet registered for this event, why not click on the FATJEF registration tab above , download your registration information and send it in today? ~ You’ll be so glad you did! And even if you don’t live here…read on!  This lady is amazing!
TeriSig



Angela Baker

Angela, it is such a privilege for me to “interview” you on Tommymom today!  Are you ready?… Shoot!

My name is Angela Baker, and I live in rural Utah.  Pigs and chickens come and go, but the children are the crop that is in focus.

I have seven of them (children) and have been married to my husband, Roger for 21 years.

Angela Baker 1


I know that when I heard you speak at The Forum in Salt Lake City, I was amazed, humbled and inspired to grasp the Seven Keys and Four Phases the way that you do.  I think that everyone would like to know what led you to Leadership Education.

Well, I had been home educating my three oldest children for roughly 3 years, based on a strictly intuitive type of Leadership Education.  When my oldest son reached the 3rd grade, I felt that it was time for me to “get serious” about education; so I went out, purchased workbooks, and “got busy.” I noticed that my children started asking, “What do I have to do before I can do what I want to do?” I started searching for answers and praying, and then had an opportunity to hear Oliver DeMille.  I was hooked!  I went home and told my kids to “go for it.”  They thought I had lost my mind.

After I heard Oliver speak a second time, I went and got what was The Five Pillars list at the time, went to a Face to Face With Greatness Seminar Series, and eventually got a Masters Degree in Education from George Wythe University.

I have done a lot of things in my own community that were pioneering efforts.  I’ve taught a lot of Mom Schools.

I stepped out of the community when I was pregnant with my last child.

Looking back, what do you think the attraction to TJEd was for you?

I excelled in school as a student, but I always felt that something was missing.  I think now that what was missing  was the ability to excel at my greatness. TJEd showed me how to do this…how to use my genius to do greater things in the world.

I have a great deal of faith that if I teach my children the principles of TJEd and give them a Love of Learning to come through the process, their “holes” will take care of themselves.

So, would you like to share what new and exciting things you’re up to these days?

This year, I started my own Academy, Erda Academy.  There are 25 students.  Erda is the town where we meet and teach, but it’s also German for Earth.  Hopefully, our efforts are planting, fertilizing and producing mighty oaks.

Our youth motto is: “Do Hard Things” taken from the book by the Harris twins. I had this idea to take my students on a hike to the top of Timpanogas Mountain.  I thought that it was a 9 mile hike and it turned out I was mistaken.  It was 19 miles! People tried to talk me out of taking them, saying it would be too hard.  They wanted me to consider something shorter.

angela Baker 4

I hiked it 2 weeks earlier, and I couldn’t walk for 4 days.  The second time it was a lot easier.

I felt like Moses!  I was taking 25 people on this hike, 11 of us summitted, others got to the saddle, and still others reached another area.

Angela Baker 3

For each of them, it was an amazing experience! My deepest passion is about people, their genius and their greatness. I so badly want to see people live their greatness; and in doing this, I’m learning how to create an environment where this can happen.

We left at 4:30 a.m. and when I stepped outside my front door, one of my biggest surprises was that all of my students were there!

When we finished, we came back to a family dinner and we had a friend of mine that is a quadrapalegic speak to us about choosing to do hard things from that perspective.  It was amazing!

In teaching this youth class, I remember this quest that Oliver gave me as my mentor.  I believe that I am supposed to inspire parents, especially mothers to raise their hero generation.  These mothers also have a mission of their own, but know that they are to raise their children in a certain way to stand and serve humanity in their place.

As a part of this mission, I believe that I am now including youth.  I think that I need to be funnier to better reach them, though. ;0)

May I ask what you’ve been reading lately?  I, for one, always want to know.

We have been having some amazingly profound discussions in my youth classes lately.  Some of them have been so pivotal.  You can learn so much from the students you mentor. The older kids are “cool” but have great insights.   The 11-14 year olds are dynamite!

One of the most profound books recently read, mainly because of our discussion in class together, was Johnny Tremaine.

To really process the reality that it’s our hardships and trials that help us become who we are; was very thought provoking.  We need to embrace them.

I recently also read and discussed Man of the Family from the Little Britches series.

Left to Tell is a book about a woman who survived the genocide in Rwanda.  It is an amazing book about the power of faith and believing.  She survived 90 days in a 3 x 7 foot bathroom with seven other women.

Three Cups of Tea this is a great book. It’s been around awhile.

My Grandfather’s Blessing, which is written by a Jewish woman that is a doctor and becomes a medical counselor, counseling people with fatal illnesses.

Can you share with us a couple of the concepts that you will be speaking on at the upcoming FATJEF?

Certainly.  I will be teaching on Secure, Not Stressed.  I am teaching on the 7 Keys all day, but there is an 8th one, I believe.

Because TJEd is so different from other forms of educating, and we’re not used to it, we can become stressed.  But like a seed, you need to be secure that if you plant it, water and nuture it, it will grow.  Because we can’t see something right away, we can get anxious.  We need to exercise faith, go back to the principles and measure what is actually going on in our homes.  If we take the time to do this and measure the template of the situation against what is going on, we can always find what we’re missing or failing to use. It gives you an anchor and something to hold on to; as well as teaching the key of self leadership and how to really mentor your children.

I’ve heard you do this particular talk and it is amazing.  What else?

I’m really excited about “But How Do I Do It?” This class will cover 4 of the 7 Keys that I think answer that best.  I’m excited because as I’ve taught it, I’ve noticed that people aren’t really familiar with the Keys, so they aren’t understanding what makes TJEd work. I tell stories about what these 4 Keys mean and what makes them work, so that people can see how they work.

I know that you are also teaching “Putting It Together Day by Day and Through the Years” and it addresses adding more children, changing a life profile, what happens after you’ve done this for 2 or 3 years, etc.?  Your situations and solutions to the scenarios presented through example are amazing and enlightening every time.

Well, I can’t tell you how many times “Structure Time Not Content” has saved me.  I get up, see everything that needs to be done and can become completely overwhelmed.  But when I structure when I’m going to clean the house, or when I’m going to teach a certain principle or lesson; it is not only very freeing, but then everyone is free to figure things out for themselves. I can relax, because I know when I’m going to do things.

Anything else, Miss Mary Poppins of Leadership Education?  Hobbies, free time activities?

I really want people to know me for who I am.  I struggle just like everyone else.  I don’t want anything to do with an image of perfection.  I just get up and try again after the days where I feel like crying!  I blunder, I make mistakes, but I keep asking questions and keep trusting the process.

I want to blow the myth of perfection to pieces, because it simply doesn’t exist. Even if it doesn’t look like people are “in a phase” that you can pinpoint, it’s okay.  There are great things going on inside of them that are helping them to become the person that they are meant to be.

Hobbies?!  Free Time?!  Do I have those?

I love to run because it’s quiet and peaceful, and I’m about to turn 46 and am getting my black belt in Tae Kwon Do.

Angela Baker 2

See, I just knew that there was more!  I can’t thank you enough for being here today.

It was my pleasure, Teri.  You make me laugh.  I’m so looking forward to coming to California.

Glad to be of service, Miss Angela!  We couldn’t be more excited to have you come!



The “Pastor’s Kid” meets the “Perky Paradox”, part 3: Core: It’s a Lifelong Phase

February 3rd, 2010

continued from the post January 29, 2010

The “family in question” who had birthed the girl I “hated”, lived roughly one mile from the church.

It seemed like an hour’s drive that fateful day.

When we arrived, I noticed that there was a duck pond to the right of the driveway.

As was to be expected, there were lots of ducks.

And a huge goose.

Graylag ( Jane's) goose

That, in the annals of waterfowl history…

goes down as the meanest goose to have ever graced this planet.

Despite what DeDe’s mom, Jane, may try to interject here…

by way of a comment.

He was the exact breed of the picture shown, and was a “Graylag” goose.

Trust me when I say that there was nothing pertaining to the word “lag” in this fowl-fellow’s vocabulary.

As we got older and I could drive…

whenever we needed to drop something off at the house,

my brother could time making it to the door just ahead of this beast…

impeccably.

Because if you didn’t?…

Let’s just say that in merely looking at this “Googled” water fowl…

my Achillie’s tendons are tingling!

As we continue to discuss core issues…

I’m hoping to rustle up some more visuals of the events and people being described here.

Just know that I’m working on it, and that it’s complicated right now.

When we arrived at the door, the happy parents of the above-stated offspring, were there to greet us…

along with the three other sisters in this brood.

Admittedly, this did soften the blow.

Somewhat.

Stepping through the dining room, to the kitchen…

there she was.

Standing at the KitchenAid mixer…

whipping up dessert.

May I pause to interject here,

that not much has changed over the long haul of years?

DeDe has been standing, off and on, at a KitchenAid mixer…

whipping up something…

for the last 40!

“HI”!…

She came over to greet us.

This move was not only waaayy too exuberant…

it was highly suspect.

I knew right then and there that she, too, was being coerced into polite conversation with “the enemy.”

I had no choice…

I had to act quickly.

“Hello”, I replied.

Brilliant.

We’re glad you’re here.”

“We’re going to have a great afternoon.”

It became painfully apparent that this individual addressing me…

had suffered some form of severe blow to the head.

Or there was an Oscar waiting somewhere nearby.

Dinner was amazing!

Always has been at the Ohlund estate.

You’ll never go hungry, rarely eat so well,

and could rustle up a hearty one-of-a-kind meal at 2:30 a.m. if necessary.

Once the table was cleared…

and the dishes were on their way to being done…

we were sent outside to play.

Once again, the brilliance of the “Dad CORE and Love of Learning” gene strikes.  No “helicopter parenting” techniques for him.

i.e.  “Honey-I-know-you-hate-her-but-could-you-be-nice-just-this-once?” or “I-hope-she’s-nice-to-you-darling-because-I-know-

you-would-never-paint-an-inaccurate-picture-with-all-of-your-10-year-old-maturity-while-I-wring-my-hands-tactics.”

Nosiree.

It was pretty much beyond implication that we had better BOTH do one thing.

Work. It. Out.

In Core Phase, it is very wise to allow situations to manifest themselves fully, in which a child will either chose to succeed or fail.

Without your intervention.

But definitely under your watchful eye and loving guidance.

How are you doing in this area of your life?

Never letting children fail and suffer natural consequences of actions and decisions,

however immature they may be, is to ultimately set them up for huge failure later in life.

Our parents definitely knew this.

Darn it.

Once we were outside, Ms. “Head-Injury” experienced an amazing comeback.

There was absolutely no doubt about it.

She was a pig.

Didn’t have any at the time, but definitely was one.

I mentioned earlier that my brother was in kindergarten…

when we were relegated to this new-found farm life.

He was cute.

And nice.

And totally unsuspecting.

Tim on Swanson tin

in keeping with my promise to resurrect photos pertaining to the “era” being covered, I scanned this beauty in the garage. It hangs above my dad’s workbench. It was made in a Swanson pot pie tin…with plaster of Paris.   He created it in Sunday School.  I love the gold metallic paint job.  My brother is known for his artistic talents.  I also really admire the photographer’s ability to center the subject.  Moving on…

In all actuality, he was in a whopping first grade, I believe…

by the time the “lucky lotto” came up for the Ohlunds to entertain us.

We were pretty much eating our way through the weekends at a brisk clip by then.

DeDe sauntered by the duck pond.

It was an unusually warm day.

“Would you like to swim?”

I would not.

My little brother, possessing numerous fish-like qualities…

was always game for this particular invitation.

Even if it was just a bathtub.

In he went.

I stood on the side.

Because I was waayyy smarter than these two.

And so much more “highly refined.”

I’m quite certain at this point, the adults were yucking it up over coffee and dessert…

while the “perky paradox” was about to make her move.

“You know, I think we’ve all had enough of you being such snooty, city-slickers.”

This was definitely aimed at me.

I stood there, attempting to act nonchalant.

DeDe looked at me and smirked.

“I think that it’s time we baptized you into the country life.”

She proceeded to dip a 5 gallon bucket deep, deep into the pond…

Where those ducks swam.

Multiple times each day.

And she dumped it over the head..

of my sweet little, unsuspecting brother!

He was in white pants to boot.

I was shocked and horrified.

This was definitely a new development…

and she was goin’ down!

to be continued…








On The Road Again!…TJEd 1,000,000 lands in Colorado

February 1st, 2010

Drawing of Shanon 2 small

We’re on our way to the Denver area!

livepreview2

livepreview1

Check out the list below for more details on some of the locations.  If you have friends and family in the Denver area, it would be great to let them know about the opportunity to hear Dr. Brooks!

The Liberty and Leadership Lyceum

For the Liberal and Performing Arts,

Classics For Fun

And Chris King

February 1, 2010

Grand Junction, CO

For more information or to RSVP please contact

Chris King

970-241-1496

kingrealm@bresnan.net

The Liberty and Leadership Lyceum

For the Liberal and Performing Arts,

Classics For Fun

And Cyndy Pennington

February 2, 2010

Meeting begins at 5:30 p.m.

Brighton/Commerce City, CO

For more information or to RSVP please contact

Cyndy Pennington

303-227-1972

cynpen76@gmail.com

The Liberty and Leadership Lyceum

For the Liberal and Performing Arts,

Classics For Fun

And Laurie Gatrell

February 3, 2010

12:00—3:00 pm

Schomp BMW

1190 Plum Valley Lane

Highlands Ranch, CO

To RSVP for this event or

for more information about Dr. Brooks tour, please

contact Laurie Gatrell at

303-688-8078

classicsforfun@hotmail.com

The Liberty and Leadership Lyceum

For the Liberal and Performing Arts,

Classics For Fun

Kate Luglaini and Cynthia Egbert

February 3, 2010

6:30—8:30 pm

Beaver Ranch—Tipi Lodge

11369 S. Foxton Rd.

Conifer, CO

For more information or to RSVP please contact

Kate Luglaini at

310-971-7755

Or Cynthia Egbert at

720-937-1041

The Liberty and Leadership Lyceum

For the Liberal and Performing Arts,

Classics for Fun

And Cynthia Egbert

February 4, 2010

11:00 a.m.

Fairmount Bible Church

Golden, CO

For more information please contact

Cynthia Egbert

303-838-9651

bookbabe@qwestoffice.net

The Liberty and Leadership Lyceum

For the Liberal and Performing Arts,

Classics For Fun

And Allen Glenn

February 4, 2010

7:00—9:00 pm

Followed with Q&A

Harmony Village

1001 Cottonwood Circle

Golden, CO

For more information please

contact Allen Glenn at

503-819-5640

vihome@earthlink.net

The Liberty and Leadership Lyceum

For the Liberal and Performing Arts,

Classics For Fun

And Kelly Reyes

February 5, 2010

1:00—4:00 pm

Good Shepherd

Episcopal Church

8545 E. Dry Creek Rd.

Centennial, CO

For more information please con-tact Kelly Reyes at

davkelreyes@gmail.com

The Liberty and Leadership Lyceum

For the Liberal and Performing Arts,

Classics For Fun

And Andrea Langlois

February 5, 2010

6:00—9:00 pm

Logan Residence

10171 Mountain Maple Dr.

Highlands Ranch, CO

For more information or to RSVP please contact

Andrea Langlois at

303-346-8576

ophelia80126@yahoo.com

The Liberty and Leadership Lyceum

For the Liberal and Performing Arts,

Classics For Fun

Pam Bashaw

February 6, 2010

1:00 pm

16079 Quarry Hill Dr.

Parker, CO

RSVP please contact

Pam Bashaw at

pgrembrandt@yahoo.com

The Liberty and Leadership Lyceum

For the Liberal and Performing Arts,

Classics For Fun

And Laurie Gatrell

February 7, 2010

6:00—9:00 pm

3301 Meadows Blvd.

Meadows Blvd & Springbrier Dr.

Meadows Subdivision

Castle Rock, CO

To RSVP for this event or

for more information about Dr. Brooks tour, please

contact Laurie Gatrell at

303-688-8078

classicsforfun@hotmail.com

The Liberty and Leadership Lyceum

For the Liberal and Performing Arts

And

Classics For Fun

February 8, 2010

6:30—8:30 pm

Colorado Springs

Christian Schools

For more information please contact Laura Bowler at

drbrookscolospgs@yahoo.com

The Liberty and Leadership Lyceum

For the Liberal and Performing Arts,

Classics For Fun,

Julie Elliot And Kim Evans

February 9, 2010

Loveland, CO

For more information or to RSVP please contact

Julie Elliot

970-226-4851

fcjae@yahoo.com

The Liberty and Leadership Lyceum

For the Liberal and Performing Arts,

Classics For Fun

And Liz Ackerman

February 10, 2010

7:00—9:00 pm

Montrose DMEA

Community Meeting Room

11925 6300 Rd.

Montrose, CO

For more information please contact Liz Ackerman at

ejmackerman@live.com

TeriSig

“Pastor’s Kid” (PK) and “Perky Paradox” (PP) part 2: A story to illustrate the value of CORE

January 29th, 2010

Continued from the post on January 22, 2010.

Perhaps, looking back today, wanting me DEAD is a slight bit of an exaggeration on how high emotions were running.

But it certainly didn’t seem like it at the time.

Each and every week was a stand off in class, and it wasn’t promising to get better any time soon.

It was the usual display of  grade school/ junior high maturity…

whispering as you “circled your wagons”…

dirty looks…

fill-in-the-blank note passing…

and on and on.

I’m almost certain that payback has reared its ugly head 10 times over with my own children as well as others,

because of what we put that poor Sunday School teacher through!

This went on literally for months.

I “hated” that girl…

And I wasn’t even allowed to use the “h” word!

I have failed to mention, that for the first 9 years of my father’s tenure at said church…

P1000331

we commuted.

From the Seattle area.

One hour.

Each way.

We didn’t move to the Graham area until 2 years before we were called to leave.

Or rather my father was…

But I’m getting ahead of myself here.

Because we commuted back and forth, and there was an evening service,

the good people of this fellowship took it upon themselves to have our family to dinner after the morning service.

Home-style cooking…

by farm families…

followed by an afternoon of fellowship and most likely some scrumptious home-made dessert.

So far, so good.

Until that fateful day…

when “her family” was the scheduled after-church-meal home.

Talk about the Last Supper brought to life!

This could be it.

I tried every possible way to make it my personal “Passover“,

but to no avail.

I couldn’t feign illness…

there was no one to watch me.

I contemplated an impromptu personal fast…

too obvious.

Darn it!

As we were heading to the car, my dad decided to have a word with me.

“May I see you a minute, honey?”

Oh brother here we go…pep talk 101.

“I’ve noticed that you and DeDe seem to have an issue with one another.”

Rats.

“You know, these great people have all worked together to make sure that we’re fed, rested, and housed for the afternoon on Sundays…”

“I’d like you to be decent, cordial and gracious for the opportunity to get to know some new folks.

Surely he jests.

” I know that I can count on you to uphold our family standards, regardless of what anyone else may choose to do.”

I’m a goner.

You see, my dad had this Leadership Education thing pretty much down.

Still does, by the way.

In retrospect, he modeled some very foundational principles for successful CORE and Love of Learning phases.

1. He knew where we were and what we were doing at all times.  Even when he looked absent.  I can assure you that I never once saw him enter that Sunday School class.  Ever.  Yet, he was keeping a handle on everything my brother and I were doing.  Scratch that.  My brother was in kindergarten.  At that age he was innocent.

2. When disaster was about to strike in the form of my personal pettiness and self centeredness, he stepped in and not only took control as the parent, but he appealed to my sense of family identity and responsibility.


My brother, Tim, brought up a great point when he was speaking at an event a few years ago.

With the rise of rebellion on the 1960’s in our country,

one of the catch phrases that became a practiced philosophy was to question authority.

Fast forward to the day when those questioning became the authority.

Many of them were at a total loss when it came to the knowledge of  how to parent.

Our dad wasn’t one of those people.

If you are, this is a great place to begin you not them.

Are you secure in your core, and are you valuing it’s necessity to a strong Leadership Education?

Confident in your parenting?

If not, what do you need to do?

Only you can answer, discern, evaluate.

There’s a lot at stake.

to be continued…






Debbie Hardesty: Career Path to Motherhood, Arkansas to Vietnam, Face to Face with Leadership Education

January 27th, 2010

I love, love, love Debbie Hardesty!

Debbie Hardesty 2


I first met her on the phone, when she called to ask some questions about Leadership Education. When we had finished, she had made the decision to attend a #2 in the Face to Face With Greatness Series here in Southern California; and flew here from Arkansas. That’s commitment!

I am well aware that this post is longer than what you’re normally used to. However, it is wonderful and full of things that people attempting to practice Leadership Education can identify with and relate to quite well. You’ll be glad you invested the time to read it. And besides…you have until Friday to “Get-Er-Done!”TeriSig

I currently reside in West Fork, AR which has a population of about 2000, not including chickens or cows.

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West Fork lies about 10 miles south of Fayetteville in the northwest corner of the state.

My wonderful husband, Brian, and I met at church in Fayetteville.

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Four months prior to our meeting, I had just moved to Fayetteville to work on my Masters at the University of Arkansas. Brian and I dated for six weeks before we were engaged, married about 4 months after that time, and currently have been happily married for over 17 years.  No need to waste time.

Before having children, I was on a career path.  My goal was to earn my PhD in something in order to teach at the college level. I didn’t really care which subject area my doctorate focused on, the bottom line was the degree so I could teach. Furthermore, I had an issue that I wanted to prove I was somebody and thought a title would do that. Approximately two and half years into my doctorate everything changed.

In the book A Thomas Jefferson Education for Teens, it states “that when God wants to change the world, he sends a baby…” That is exactly what God did to change my world, he sent me a son.  Against popular opinion, I left being in charge of a lab, cultivating cow pituitary cells in an incubator, and the once coveted three letters (PhD.) for a different set of three letters and the title—M-O-M. I still get to teach, just not in front of a classroom of college students.  Instead, it is the realm of multiple arenas—living room, kitchen, van, grocery store, or park and to only four students—three boys, ages 14, 10, & 9 and one daughter, age 2.

We always held to several goals as we began the process of home education. First, we want our children to understand themselves—their own strengths and weaknesses. Also, we try to help our children understand others from many angles—gender, temperament type, love language, situations and culture. Serving and loving others takes on a deeper meaning where there is understanding. Furthermore, we hope our children will grow up to be leaders and to love to learn. Last, yet most important, we are trying to cultivate a heart that loves God with all their heart, soul, and mind.

So many times I could see the purpose or target in home educating our children, but my aim was totally off.

I would shoot at the target, but the arrow would veer off course. Instead of my children saying they loved to learn, they complained. Instead of thinking learning was a privilege; they thought it was a punishment. One child even stated he was stupid and would never “get it”.   Those words would ALWAYS rip my heart!  I knew that sending them to a typical public school was not the answer and would not achieve the desired goals.   So, I did what any mother would do in that situation.  I got down on my knees, tears in my eyes, and begged God for answers.  Have you been there?

I have always searched for answers.  So when I ran across a package on Andrew Pudewa’s site, The Institute in Excellence in Writing, concerning leadership education, I stopped, explored, and bought.  In the mail came two CDs (The Seven Keys of Great Teaching and A Classical Approach to Art, Math, and Science) and two booklets (Core and Love of Learning: A recipe for Success and Scholar Phase).  I had them all read, listened to, and notes scratched in the margins before the end of the week. Was what I read and listened to possible?  Was this the answer?    Two months later, I ordered and read A Thomas Jefferson Education by DeMille I wanted my children to have a leadership education!  This is what I had been looking for.

Yet, the simplicity did not resonate within my mind—I did not get the “how to”. It is extremely difficult to change over 22 years of conveyor belt and professional educational thinking. Plus, my temperament type tends to be goal orientated.  It was always about the bottom line and not the process. I was going to have them from diapers to college in record time.  I was trying to force and pour into my kids what I thought they should learn, instead of drawing out their interests and what they wanted to learn. It wasn’t working.  This is exactly why I was missing the target!  (Ding-Ding-Ding-Ding-Ding as bells go off.) Now what?—More books!!!

In the mail came A Thomas Jefferson Home Companion and Leadership Education: the Phases of Learning. Now I had it—55 steps to a leadership education.  Here we go…I had a walk-in closet upstairs full of “school books”.  These were MY school books that I would take down one at a time to force to let my kids read grade by grade, book by book, according to the curriculum design.  I had the books arranged in the upstairs closet accordingly.  Deep Breath…I was going to take the books from upstairs, place them on bookshelves downstairs according to Ingredient #19 in The Phases of LearningDuring the entire process, I was fighting with myself. I felt this sense of panic come over me as I took everything out of “sequential” order.

One part exclaimed, “Trust the process?

The other part interjected, “What is the process that I’m supposed to trust?”

“You’re doing this for your kids.”

“Now, you won’t be able to find anything. It will take you forever to find a book.”

“This is supposed to help inspire your kids.  Trust the process.

“What are those Lamaze breathing techniques—Hee, Hee, Who!  I think I’m getting dizzy.  Is it the taking the books out of order or the walking up and down the stairs?”

(I know.  I needed help.  “Hi, my name is Debbie, and I’m a conveyor belt junkie.”)

In the mean time, my boys are watching me walk up and down the stairs.  About the third time down, they stop me.  “Mom, who are you talking to?”

“No one, why?”

“You keep shaking your head yes and no and getting funny looks on your face.”  If only they knew the battle going on inside.

After the last trip down the stairs, the boys start pulling out and looking at all these books.  Sitting down, flipping through the pages, reminiscing over some we had read and exploring others we hadn’t.  I sat back with tears trickling down my face.  “Trust the process!!

I did figure out that I did not need all 55 ingredients to implement a leadership education.  They are very helpful as shown with the above story; but after 10 TJEd books or booklets later, and a trip to CA to a Face to Face with Greatness Seminar the process is as easy as read, discuss, write, and apply.  Simplicity, not complexity.  (I did say I was trying to break over 22 years of bad conveyor belt habits!)

I think “inspire, instead of require” will always be the hardest key for me. But I’m getting better! My kids already knew I spoke to myself.  Well, I have also begun to read out loud to myself.  I had been so tired of trying to get everyone into the living room to read to them—driving them by force. So instead, I sat in the living and began to read a story to myself—laughing and throwing out comments as “wow”, “cool”.  Within minutes, I had one son sitting on my lap; another son pulling a chair up beside me; a third son, who was surfing ESPN on the internet, making comments about the book; and my husband engaged in another project but grinning as I read. It was easy and SOOO much less stress. I wonder what will be the next book I will read “to myself”.

Teri asked me what my favorite thing was about TJEd.  It is the fact I know what I’m doing is right! If Teri or Dr. Brooks lost their mind…okay, any more than they have…and decided to shun leadership education, I would still pursue it wholeheartedly. (But, Teri and Dr. Brooks, PLEEEEEASE don’t abandon me now!!) I know this is right for the individual, the family, and for our nation to maintain its freedoms.

I told you I have a two year old daughter.

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What I did not tell yet is that we adopted her from Vietnam when she was 8 months old. It was one of the hardest and most rewarding things we have ever done. We fought over 2 years of bureaucracy from two countries and mounds of paper work; we have been child abuse checked, FBI checked, local and county police records checked; we flew one way over 23 hours with me spending 16 hours of those in an airplane bathroom because of airsickness. (Oh, the stories I could tell.) Our reason for doing this was to bring freedom, especially religious freedom, to a child who would not otherwise have it. We did not fly halfway around the world to bring a child home for her to lose her freedom here on American soil!!! TJEd is right because it is the type of education that will save our Republic!  I’m moving forward and not looking back! I’m fighting for my kids’ freedom!

Right before we adopted our daughter I wrote the following:

THE TAPESTRY

I believe that God has been creating a tapestry since the beginning of time, and He is still weaving His plan today.    In this tapestry is the life of every person that lived, is living, and will live.  Each of those people is represented as one string.   There are strings from people like the pharaoh during Moses time whose heart was hardened so God showed his power through the ten plagues.  Or the people of Babylon or Assyria, who were wicked themselves, but God used them to destroy a rebellious people.  Then there is the string of Abraham who went from being scared to claim Sarah as his wife in Egypt to a man who was willing to sacrifice Isaac because God told him to do it, and it was accounted to him as righteousness.  Weaved also is the string of Esther, an orphan once herself, who put her life on the line and saved her people.  My prayer is that someday when I get to look at this tapestry that I see two strings, Brian’s and mine, running from my home to Vietnam.  Then three strings coming back across the ocean.  Then a little later I hope to see one of those strings heading back to Vietnam, taking a nation the Word of God.  Furthermore, God only knows what other strings we will see wrapped around this process of us trying to bring God to a child and possibly others within a nation.  Individually we are only a string.  Together, even if we are for God or against Him, we make a tapestry.   I hope God sees us working for Him.

I would march forward by myself on this road of a leadership education, but I’m thankful I do not have to! I’m thankful Teri has created this blog to weave us together to hopefully make a tapestry that screams again that America is a land of virtue, courage, and liberty for us and especially for our children!

A side note:  Make sure to get a copy of A Thomas Jefferson Education for Teens.

WOW, what a book! Dr. DeMille and Dr. Brooks took a lot of resources and made them applicable to daily life.  Every sentence has a nugget of gold wrapped in it. So, do not casually skim by the text.  I wish that I had this book at a younger age! Then maybe I would have realized sooner the process is just as important as, or more so than the bottom line. Furthermore, maybe I would have learned quicker that the mission is more important than the title. Just because I couldn’t read by the time I was in 3rd grade did not mean I had to spend a big chunk of the rest of my life proving I was somebody.  So, I highly encourage everyone to read this book!

Today It’s Your Birthday!

January 25th, 2010

Fifty years ago today, a hero was born…

In the middle of a blizzard in Glasgow, Montana.

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There really wasn’t anything super-hero-like at the time

But he was definitely into emulating heroes of his own.

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There was no doubt about the fact that he was a cute kid.

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And a great older brother.

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He grew in stature and began to get an education.

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Dead center, in the front row, of the kindergarten class.

As he grew up in this organization…

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The size of his family grew right along with him, until he had three brothers.

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He played a little football…

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and did a bit of fishin’…

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He acquired friendships…

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and served others, while loving God and country.

Eventually, he began to date a girl…

(well he actually dated far more than one, but for the sake of this tribute, bear with me here.)

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At the time, she apparently thought that looking like Laura Ingalls Wilder was “chic.”

He didn’t care.

Because the appearance of style wasn’t paramount…

evidenced by this hair.

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The boy and the girl hung out a lot…

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decided to get married…

and eventually had this kid.

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Incidentally, mocking another’s personal sense of style…

nearly guarantees that you are bound to lose your own.

This truth would be evidenced in the above photo by HER hair.

This is better…

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but could still use help.

Along with the birth of this child…

they decided that perhaps it was time to start focusing on the really important things.

Like ever strengthening faith.

Family.

Core values.

Personal growth.

Fast forward to this past Saturday evening…

Lots of years, lots of growth, coupled with the inevitable hard times and struggles…

and five sons later.

A surprise party.

that involved a lot of planning… (and strategic packing)

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Effort and reliance upon family and a community of dear friends…

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But in the end it produced this…

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and this

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Which eventually led to THE SURPRISE…DSC02504

A gathering of nearly 200 family and close friends…

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It was an evening of fun…

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timeless memories…

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and powerful tributes.

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It was an evening to be treasured…

and will most definitely be remembered.

Would you care to read a sampling of the things that were said?

“He is a great older brother.”

“As kids, he never “ratted” us out, but became one of us.  We were a brotherhood…

He’s carried that same ethic into adulthood and would do anything for me…in fact he has.”

“He has a tremendous work ethic.”

“He is always there for me whenever I need him.”

“He practices servant leadership.”

“He models his faith without saying a word.”

“He loves unconditionally.”

Then the rubber really met the road.

Son #1

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“Most kids growing up think that their dad is the greatest…

Today, at 21, mine still is.  I couldn’t have picked a better one if I had been allowed.’

“He has never given me a reason to be ashamed of him.”

“He doesn’t quit.  Ever.”

Son #2

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“My dad practices servant leadership.”

“He inspires not only this present generation, but the future one.”

“He leads by being the example, which produces inspiration, not requirement.”

“We could never express to you how much we admire and love our dad.”

Followed by a toast…
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Yep…there were lots of tears…

tons of laughs.

Joyous reunitings.

You know…

the stuff that life is made of.

There was clean up…

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highlighted and demonstrated here by the dear friends previously pictured…

don’t they look nice?

There is always an opportunity to practice servant leadership…

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regardless of how you’ve just been honored.

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But make no mistake…

Honored you will be.

If you pay the price.

Trust in a good and gracious God.

Do the work.

Run the race.

It takes a lot to make a family, a legacy, a life.

Proof that heros are made, not born.

Happy 50th, to my #1 Hero!  XO,TeriSig











“The Pastor’s Kid” meets “The Perky Paradox”, part 1

January 22nd, 2010

I’m quite confident that many people have their togas in a real twist over the seemingly derogatory comment about Scholar phase on Wednesday.

Let me clarify.

Scholar phase is, indeed, a noble goal for all pursuing a Leadership or Liberal Arts Education.

However, it is not an end all.

I think that people have a glorified position, possibly even an infatuation for Scholar phase…

because there is finally something tangible…

something you can measure.

We, in our wonderful American culture, tend to default to what is measurable much of the time, don’t we?

Faith is definitely tough.

Core and Love of Learning take a lot of it.

Faith, that is.

I hope that you can read between the lines in my own “riveting” story here…

(Hey, who’s that coughing?!)

And see some principles that will help and encourage you…

both with your children and yourself.

p.s.  In case it’s been rough lately, or you’re up nights…

I’ll provide a running commentary in italized, colored print when patterns and principles appear…

because the running commentary piece seems to be part of what I do best.

(Is anyone else REALLY still out there?…or am I speaking to an “empty room”?)


As I began my descent into Seattle last week, and looked out the airplane window

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I was filled with nostalgia for this area that I had grown up in…

and at the same time saddened.

It had been too long since I’d been home…

and the current circumstances were less than desirable.

Inevitable, but still undesirable.

As I made my way through the once all-too-familiar-but-you’ve-stayed-away-too-long-and-we’ve-expanded terminal

I was thoughtful about the current state of events.

This wouldn’t be easy…

but it is always good to come home.

To reflect on what was…

what has shaped and molded you into who you are…

what has changed.

And to look at where you and everyone else are going…

so that you can evaluate some things…

which allows you to stay the course with greater effectiveness.

It was pouring down rain.

Not an uncommon ambiance this time of year in the Pacific Northwest.

I greeted DeDe with a huge hug.

Once we were on the freeway, heading towards home, the tears began to flow freely…

coupled with heavy sobs.

“I’m so glad you came.”

“I couldn’t do this without you.”

“I get so much strength from your presence.”

I reached across the seat and took her hand.

I commented quietly, ” For heaven’s sake, where else would I be?”

Her tears seemed to mingle with the pounding of the rain on the windshield…

and the methodical sound of the wipers going back and forth, back and forth…

When I was in the middle of the third grade

my father was asked to take the pastorate in Graham, Washington.

In my always outspoken, rather vocal opinion… ( yes, even then)

this was a nearly catastrophic turn of events.

You see, I was really something.

I was a part of what C.S. Lewis refers to as the Inner Ring.

I was an uber-urban, “high society”, city loving, pastor’s child, that had definitely arrived.

At least in the privacy of my own mind…

where all truth formulates when you’re between 5-10, right?

I was chic, “cultured”…

and “too good” to be relegated against my will to a glorified cow pasture.

I mean, pleeaasse.

I shared these thoughts again and again with my city slicker friends…

every chance I had…

back at our old, large, more cultured “city church…”

which I actually visited often at first….

to help “ease the transition.”

Now, others may have seen things just a tad bit differently from their perspective…

my own father included.

He himself had grown up on a farm…

and thought that farm life was a most respectable perspective from which to see and formulate life.

To give you a solid, no-holds-barred perspective on the level of my chic, sophistication…

take a look at this picture.

I’m warning you, it’s a real reality check.

I’m the one on the right.

Ready?

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I knew you weren’t…

but there is absolutely no adequate preparation for a sight such as this.

In the history of the world, has there ever been another time...

when some brilliant equally dim-witted individual has combined battleship grey with brown plaid…

and white knee high sox…

And lived to blog about it?

Oh, I was something else alright!

And I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that there was one eternal overriding truth…

And this was it…

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THIS girl…this nasty, mean, snotty, aloof, muck- boot- wearin’…

cow-lovin’,farm-hand little chickadee…

in my new Sunday School class…

in MY DAD’S new church…

was out to get me.

No…

it was worse.

She wanted me dead….

D-E-A-D.

I just knew it.

So there.TeriSig


to be continued…




Core…A Modern Day Leadership Paradox

January 20th, 2010

“The Foundational and Learning Phases are the most basic of Leadership Education. Each is vital and they must come in the right order- Core, the Love of Learning, Scholar then Depth. …Each of the phases is important; but the Foundational Phases do come first, and they continue to animate the whole process and set the tone for later successes or failures.” Leadership Education, Oliver and Rachel DeMille, page 32, emphasis mine.

As I stated previously, I spent Thursday to Sunday of this past week in the Seattle area.

I haven’t been “home” in five years.

I spent all of my childhood from the ages of 6 to 21 living in the Pacific Northwest.

And what a great childhood it was.

I would like to tell you that it was perfect…

without pain, conflict or controversy of any kind…

but that would be the most dishonest of deceptions.

I think that people seeking a true leadership education tend to struggle already…

The bar is set so high, and the expectation level is fraught with Pollyanna-type illusions.

I needn’t fuel a fire that is often self-started

and successfully maintained at a smoldering level in many over achieving individuals.

What my childhood entailed,

definitely falls into an unusually high, above- average category.

I am, and always will be eternally grateful for this.

It defined, and continues to define, the individual that I am today.

You hear a tremendous amount about the Scholar phase in Leadership Education…

as if it is a rite of passage of sorts.

A destination.

An end result.

And yet, the true foundation and point of reference for who you are and what you become

is defined in the Core phase of your life.

At times, this truth can seem backwards.

Like a mistake.

Puzzling.

It is my hope that every individual reading this

will come to welcome and embrace the realization

that one of the greatest paradoxes of Leadership Education is this…

The phase that gets the least accolades, attention and recognition most of the time

is undoubtedly the most meaningful and important.

I hope that this infuses every tired parent and mentor with energy…

Fortitude.

Courage.

The time that you are putting in…

that goes seemingly unnoticed…

day after day, week after week and year after year…

MATTERS MOST.

These realities were physically reinforced when I received the text on December 29th from my closest childhood friend…

my dearest cohort in Core and Love of Learning Phases…

that her father was minutes from passing away.

There was never even a question on my end of this news,

as to whether or not I would need to be there on January 16, 2010.

Family and friends would gather together to pay their respects to this man…

Robert Ohlund

an individual who was a stellar representation of faithfulness and steadfast devotion to God and family…

to principles and ethics that this country was founded and made great upon.

I entered this sleepy little community 40 years ago…

as a “Snot-nosed, city loving, superior-to-farm-life-feeling pastor’s kid.”

I returned last week as a “Gratitude-filled, mother-of-five, peace-brought-by-rural-living-loving, best friend.”

What brings about this kind of transformation?

Life.

It’s celebrations…

Tragedies…

Seemingly mundane daily events…

and the personal influence of people that are woven throughout.

In the midst of it all…

are the principles, foundations, and reinforced messages that we call “Core.”

They are delivered most powerfully by associations with family and friends.

Insignificant?…

Hardly.

Life changing?

Always.

I hope you’re watching and guarding this phase of education and ultimately, life…

very closely.

It’s vital.

Important.

Sacred.

Hopefully, as I continue this story, through sharing

and ordinary personal example…

You’ll be challenged to revisit and reevaluate the profound influence of one of Core phases most

influential components…

the association with

and influence of others.

Tune in Friday for: “The Pastor’s Kid” Meets the “Perky Paradox”…

How 11 Years in a Country Church Shaped and Continues to Enhance My Life.








More to come on Wednesday…and Dr. Brooks in Temecula

January 18th, 2010

I have been out of town since Thursday of last week in Seattle,

revisiting a huge portion of my childhood…

And honoring the life and legacy

of the father of my closest childhood friend.

He passed away December 29th.

I just returned this evening.

While I have a lot to share,

I am tired.

Tired, but both happy and grateful.

Happy to have seen people,

some of whom I haven’t been with in 20 years…

happy to have had some time to renew relationships and ponder childhood memories…

Grateful to have had people…

solid, stable, hard-working people

affirm my family legacy and express thankfulness yet again…

for my father’s own legacy of faithfulness.

I’ll be back Wednesday with more…

when we begin a journey revisiting our core.

For those of you wanting to take people to hear Dr. Shanon Brooks, he will be in Temecula,

Friday, January 22, 2010 from 7-9 p.m. at

The Reserve

42586 Musilek

Temecula, CA 92592

Please e-mail Erika Lundquist for further information at evlundquist@gmail.com or phone

(951) 722-0105.

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