“Well, now I am not going! Child #4 has been throwing up since about 11 p.m. and #5 was complaining of an upset stomach earlier and is now in pain.”
This was the text that I received…
at midnight on Friday night…
as I was finally beginning to doze off.
It was from a very dear friend…
and “fellow mom of 5″…
that was supposed to be…
taking a “mental health day”
Saturday with myself and others.
Unfortunately…
for me personally…
it really had become…
necessary to define the day…
as one that would…
hopefully…
restore the “health”…
to the “mental.”
Or at least….
some perspective…
to a tired…
and spent…
wife, mother…
daughter and friend.
Have you ever noticed…
that often…
the very best of each of us…
is accompanied by a slant or side…
that can all-too-quickly…
become our very worst?
I am an extremely driven individual.
I’ve been asked many times…
by several of you…
“How DO you do it all?!”
There’s a simple answer.
I don’t.
It may appear as if I do…
from time to time…
and mothers are certainly known…
for giving this impression…
but I come up short…
just like everyone else.
I over schedule..
under plan…
fight feelings of desperation…
that come from both a lack of that planning…
or the neglect of sufficient margin…
between activities…
that urge us to…
go, go, go.
The unusual urgency and fast pace…
of this entire summer…
has taken my breath away.
Fact is…
everyone needs periods…
of introspection…
and rest.
Where opportunity to ruminate…
on the things of life…
provides a clear vision of…
its responsibilities…
opportunities…
pressures…
joys…
successes…
challenges…
and privileges.
These sometimes become a blur…
if we aren’t careful…
to demand margin…
reasonable amounts of space…
healthy boundaries.
Lately..
I’m “there.”
So…
I will step back…
settle in to the Fall season…
steep myself in Family Culture…
as I’m taking serious note…
of several things.
For instance…
this initial inspiration into the world of motherhood…
is transitioning once again…
into the world of full blown…
responsible…
capable…
young adult.
He is teaching me…
what it entails to effectively “parent”…
an adult child.
We are watching our first born son…
shoulder more and more responsibility…
embrace amazing opportunities…
mature on an even deeper level…
in his personal relationships…
commitments…
and skill sets.
I make mistakes…
flounder at times…
with what to say…
how to effectively guide…
and find my footing in his world…
so that we are rewarded with healthy…
mother/son adult relationships.
This delight…
just turned 1-1.
When I think about it…
I swear he was just 1.
And this week…
this child…the “end of the line”…
will enter year #9 of life on this planet…
thus beginning his last anniversary of birth…
still in single digit numbers.
This son…
with these deliciously…
soft…
warm…
dimpled…
little boy hands…
will in a mere instant…
exchange these books…
for a finer…
more cultured set.
Oh yes, dear friends…
it’s time to breathe.
And in taking in those deep breaths…
to gratefully embrace…
and then savor…
the potpourri of scents…
that make up an ever evolving…
changing…
emerging…
Leadership Education based…
family culture.
It’s time to reacquaint myself…
with my family’s…
growth…
strengths…
weaknesses…
and triumphs.
Yes…
strong…
deeply intoxicating…
breaths…
are definitely in order.
I’m looking forward to it!
Hello, Fall!
What about you?
Thanks for taking time to write and reflect so I would too. Had an unforgettable 24hours this weekend with women almost as fun as you. Laughing so hard we cried. It was just what the Mental Heath Doctor recommended. I think I will refer to it as a “Mental Health Day” and plan many more during my journey along side you, caring for those the Lord has placed on this pilgrimage with me.
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Teri Reply:
August 23rd, 2010 at 10:39 am
Sheila…
I know what it takes for you to “laugh so hard you cry!” WOW. That must’ve been some weekend! I’m so glad you’re refreshed. Thanks for commenting. XO, ;0)
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I am looking forward to fall as well. Summer brought great fun and many adventures to the Gandara Bug Academy – and this fall we start off on a brand new path, with brand new opportunities and a richer environment for our kids (Not financially richer – but truly deeply richer). For the first time I have given over the education of my bugs to someone other than myself – and my beautiful SIL is ready and excited to ‘try this out’ for herself!
Tomorrow 27 6th graders will walk through my door as genius’ and angels all wrapped up in one. I know nothing about them, except for the opportunities I have mapped out ahead of them and the journey I want to take along with them.
It is most definately time to breathe.
[Reply]
Teri Reply:
August 23rd, 2010 at 10:41 am
YOU, my friend, are going to be simply PHENOMENAL! I have no doubts! And the Gandara Bug Academy is going to flourish and thrive! God doesn’t bring opportunity to you…in order for you to fail!
It’s all good! XO, ;0)
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I totally relate to being extremely driven, Teri, and I know, especially for us, we have to plan in those extra margins of time between activities, or we’ll get sucked dry! Even those planned down times get altered, not by our choosing! So, after reading this today, I rescheduled an event that could be rescheduled in order to focus on a more important event later on today…and I don’t even have kids left at home!
[Reply]
Teri Reply:
August 23rd, 2010 at 10:42 am
Maureen…Yes, you know me well…and vice versa. Thank you…not only for the comment, but for taking the post seriously enough to reschedule a commitment in order to have breathing room. XO, ;0)
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Your “breating” post could not be more timely Teri…as always you let your servant’s heart lead you, and us, through this journey. I really needed Saturday too, and was glad we could take some time to “breathe” together. Thanks too for that delightful bday card from you and Kim; you’re the best, and I’m blessed!
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(I typed a response Monday morning but it was lost in cyberspace never to be seen from again.) So while calmly breathing I will try again.
I have been taking time to reflect and reorganize our schedule and homeschool path lately and it really does take time to find the balance between doing it all and meeting all of our needs. I think the response on tension that compared it to a home with different personalities really helped me to see how this topic and that are so related we have to understand and relate to each of those personalities in our home to select and plan curriculum which fits their individual strengths and weaknesses. That is even true of planning events, activities, field trips and participating in park groups you want to find a group or situation which best fits you and your child’s needs not make them change to fit that groups structure. I was really pleased last week when my husband referenced the Coach Wooden book he is reading at a coaches meeting to inspire the coaches to see their players as individuals and work to build their teams around their players strengths and weaknesses rather than trying to make those kids fit into a set game plan. Thanks Teri for recommending the book it was a great Father’s Day gift and I can see it and the other books he has read by Wooden and Dungy making a big impact on his coaching philosophy and attitude. Thanks for all you do and all the great posts that keep us thinking, challenge us to grow and the giveaways that bribe us into commenting which makes us engage in the conversation instead of merely lurking (I should know I’m a card carrying lurker on many a blog & yahoo group)
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