Many thanks and update: The outpouring on the part of TommyMom readers where thoughts, prayers and well-wishes are concerned for Alicia, have been both inspiring and overwhelming. I cannot thank you enough. At the time of the last update, she and her parents are all exhausted. She, of course, from the physical aspects of the accident itself; her parents from the enormity of finding out the details from her rescuers, that surrounded that accident. They are so grateful and awed that she is alive. Alicia will be starting physical therapy very soon; and has suffered a broken arm, severe concussion, severe laceration to the right leg, and burns.
Her mother and one of her sisters spent the entire day yesterday removing glass from her hair as a result of the impact. It was actually in the form of dust! They are hoping that she will be stable enough to be released by the end of this week to go home and continue recuperating. Obviously one of the main concerns for the future, would be the psychological aftermath from a trauma such as this. She was in the front passenger seat of the van that was hit.
Again, thank you for your thoughts and prayers. They are much appreciated. ~ Teri
I was speaking to a dear friend and reader yesterday morning…
that expressed how much the “tension” post was making her think…
and re-think many things.
“It’s like a huge adjustment, Teri.
To be able to access issues as “tensions” that shouldn’t “go away”…
versus “problems” that should be solved…
is a major paradigm shift.
I’m thinking about it.”
So…
We will continue to discuss some of this…
probably into part of next week.
Because I’m going to assume here…
(knowing full well what that can do to “U” and “ME”)
that you are all somewhat quiet…
because you are thinking as well.
I would encourage you to read the comments…
that have been left…
because they are good, solid thoughts.
As a refresher to Monday’s post…
Andy Stanley stated that if you “resolve” tensions…
that should be leveraged…
you create a barrier to progress.
I think that it would be helpful…
to realize that the family unit…
is the foundational “organization” in any society.
One of the most significant steps, then…
would be to distinguish between the problems that need to be solved…
and the tensions that need to be managed.
Here are some questions that you can ask…
in order to determine these two categories successfully.
1. Does this problem or tension keep resurfacing?
2. Are there mature advocates for both sides?
3. Are the two sides really interdependent?
You can see where defining these two environments successfully…
could lead to lots of progress!
Here are some tensions…
that present themselves to all of us…
Family Culture vs. Education
School vs. Education
Young, Inexperienced Adulthood vs. Mature, Experienced Adults
Micro-Managing vs. Effective Mentoring That Helps To Structure Time
Discipline vs. Punishment
Expected “Norm” vs. Quality Time
Your thoughts on these tensions…
or input of others?
Here is the picture of our current fabulous giveaway…
which will be announced next week sometime!…
So keep those comments coming!
You assume correctly. I am quiet because I am pondering and praying for this young woman and her family. Blessings and more blessings to you, my dear friend!
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You warned it would be a life altering realization – and honestly Teri, the impact of how quickly life changes, as in the case of the CBU families, has pounded the nail even further home. Tensions don’t deserve much of my time – if they reoccur I need to accept that or make small subtle changes to avoid them – like scheduling everyone a laundry day. From the above list I am most called to the Micro-Managing vs Effective Mentoring. I am currently deeply reading A Thomas Jefferson Education for the third time – taking even more notes and absorbing even more of the process into my soul… micro-managing seems to be somewhat of a flaw of mine. I thrive on schedules – I LOVE to know exactly what is coming next – so for me I need to work on just Mentoring and going with the flow. I have had Mommy and Me time with 2 of the 3 bugs, and they have chosen the topic they want to explore when school starts again in September. Bug 3 is on the schedule next weekend
.
One thing I am really good at is not caring what happens in “schools” or what the “norm” is. I have always been a rebel of sorts and I’m glad to micro-manage my bugs the ‘right’ way, Ha ha!!!
Everyone have a blessed day and a wondeful weekend!
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Wow, you mean tension is a normal part of life and not something to be avoided, but rather MANAGED? What a thought! I tend to think that when tensions arise (scheduling conflicts, sick kids, lack of sleep), it must be because of something I did wrong. I spend so much energy trying to figure out how to avoid these things in the future. I’m just now realizing how egocentric that attitude really is. As if I’m the center of the universe and whichever way I revolve generates all these little normal life challenges. Or maybe it is somewhat superstitious. Remember the old saying, “Don’t step on the crack or you’ll break your mama’s back.” What a waste of time and energy! I need to think like a Surfer-Dude when life happens and just flow with it and quit wasting my resources on all the “Why me’s?”
Sometimes we do bring tension on ourselves maybe by biting off more than we can chew. For me this usually happens when I agree to things I don’t really have time for because I don’t want to let someone down. Separating what is beyond our control from the things we can learn to do better the next time. This is great stuff Teri and very timely for me.
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