Planned Neglect, SS part 4

We have found it to be especially helpful when committing to large events…

to have a Family Meeting in order to plan neglect.

This does not substitute for the Family Executive Committee (FEC) meeting that is explained in detail in Leadership Education starting on page 62.

We use Family meetings for many things…

not the least of which would include…

planning neglect.

It gives our children and young adults…

the opportunity to give input to the policies that will surround said event…

and to help us plan the most effective forms of neglect…

to sync our schedules…

and to troubleshoot for the “younger people” in our family unit!

Obviously, it is most helpful when you have worked this event before…

and you know what you’re up against!

If you go in blindly…

and even when you don’t…

we always debrief afterwards.

This communicates powerful things to our kids…

a couple of which are as follows…

1. There are times when you make genuine mistakes where commitments are concerned…

and need to adjust accordingly.

2. Making any commitment long term at the expense or risk of sacrificing the family…

isn’t a worthwhile commitment.

Here’s how this particular Family Meeting went:

Hero Hubby: “Okay, can we get everyone’s commitment levels penned in up front…

so that we know what we’re going to need to do?”

Son #1:  Aside from work itself in my department,  I will help with set up week…

and have two major band practices because I’m playing mainstage with Rob Biagi.

After getting dates and times for those…

we move on to Son #2.

What’s your story?

Son #2: “Well, I’m a mainstage character, and have been asked to oversee the Story Village for the 3-5th graders.”


“Obviously, I, too, will help with set up week, and also am responsible to set up and acquire props for my village.”

This involved hours of constructing and painting these with Hero Hubby…

so that they ended up with these nifty javelins…

color coded by grade levels…

as “ambiance” that were really guidelines for “where to sit!”

because there were “small gatherings” such as this…


back to back each and every day!

Son #3?…

“Mainstage character…

set up week…

where he painted 12 hours straight…

more than one day…

but also…

where he could be seen eradicating…


any and all doubt from people’s minds…


as to whether or not he was typecast…

to play this leading role.

Any further questions?!

Note: I live here each.and.every.day.

Someone please send help.

Sons #4 and #5?

“We’re going to help during set up week…

and to attend!

Dad?

“Set up week to include: designing and constructing…

javelins for all grades as Story Village place markers…

all banners for Lead Shepherds to carry for each grade…


designing and building the Dragon’s tale…

which…

when it began to move and smoke billowed from the lair…

was so convincing…

that one of the 5 year olds sitting in front of me…

threw her hands over her eyes and exclaimed…

“Oh no!, He’s scaweee….and he’s going to come out of tha-yer!”


Week of: Shepherding the boys from Father’s Ranch that are wards of the state…

because not too many people can handle them!”

Mom?

“I am the Shepherd Chair…

to include writing and implementing a program for Junior Shepherds…

6th grade through high school…

totaling 115 kids that have signed up.

Overseeing 250 people that have committed to Shepherd…

and pouring in to the 7 Lead Shepherds.

For the week, gentleman…

you may refer to me as…

“The Queen.”

Try to contain your excitement…

I know that I certainly can’t!

Why are you rolling your eyes, boys?

As you can clearly see…

we had a “smidge” of responsibility!

So…

the following conclusions were drawn up front…

Set up runs from roughly 4-11 p.m. each day…

for six days prior to Summer Spectacular.

Dinner is served if you are there.

If you commit…

be responsible enough to eat!

Your presence at set-up…

implies that you will be eating there.

If not…

take a PB and J…

or eat Cheerios upon your arrival home.

The kitchen is closed.

This reminder had to be reinforced on day #2 of set up for #4 and #5…

when they “didn’t like the food that was being served.”

We’re mean like that.

They adjusted beautifully…

and ate on queue.

There will be a standing familial agreement to commit…

to nothing else between the month prior to Summer Spectacular…

and the week that it runs.

No exceptions.

Except that “small” Election Officer…

17 hour voting day gig.

Sorry.

Not really…

I’m “The Queen”…remember?

If anyone’s commitments are suffering from complications…

and yours are completed…

we are here to serve.

This would be prophetic…

when Dad had to start the tail over from scratch…

three days before the event!

Questions?

Thank you for your cooperation and participation!

Wait until you see the bottom line results!
TeriSig










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Comments

  1. 1

    “The Queen” what an appropriate title too! I love this Teri…planned neglect! There are so many times when we know there is something big that is necessary for the whole family to participate in, support, and sacrifice for. The meeting to prepare everyone for it is brilliant! What a great way to include our children in the blessings of effort and sacrifice and teaching the value of work. What a wise Queen, you guys rock, seriously.

    [Reply]

    Teri Reply:
    June 29th, 2010 at 8:37 pm

    Miss Vernie…You’re certainly no stranger to this concept…and are no slouch yourself! XO ;0)

    [Reply]

  2. 2

    I always knew you were the Queen, Teri, but I must say that the Jester, in this circumstance, pulls a very close second! Talk about a classy production and family involvement – you guys take the cake! I have no doubt the impact of the lessons taught (family and entire group) during the week will have far reaching impact!
    You are building characters – oh, I mean character!

    [Reply]

    Teri Reply:
    June 29th, 2010 at 8:36 pm

    Maureen,
    The Jester most definitely outshined his mother…he was HILARIOUS! XOXO ;0)

    [Reply]

  3. 3

    To the Queen of Everything
    Amazing! I seriously do not know how you,Paul and your family do it ALL!
    Seriously, I have one young adult at home and can not get laundry done.
    We feel blessed to have you coming to help save us with our little event in July.

    [Reply]

    Teri Reply:
    June 29th, 2010 at 8:36 pm

    We feel blessed to have been ASKED to come and “help!” XO ;0)

    [Reply]

  4. 4
    Joelle says:

    Queen Teri,

    I’m out of breath just reading your blog today. How do you do it all?
    Your church sure knows how to pull out all of the stops! The sets looked amazing. Where is son #3′s very important tall hat?
    As for planned neglect…I’ve never thought of planning it. :-)

    Joelle

    [Reply]

    Teri Reply:
    June 29th, 2010 at 8:35 pm

    Miss Joelle, who is, in my book, “The Princess of Quite a Lot”…I DON’T do it all! Really.
    Yes, they certainly DO know how to pull out all of the stops…because they’ve had great systems in place for years. Son #3′s hat is “safe and sound in a very special place” where he is planning to focus upon it shortly and get with his own blog!…Thank you for asking!
    Planned neglect really should…well, be planned! It removes so much pressure and guilt and allows one to focus!
    XOXO ;0)

    [Reply]

  5. 5
    Stephanie says:

    Those sets looked as amazing as the Aladdin set @ CA Adventure. Love your family’s communication lines. Great example! We had quite the production we were prepping for, as well. We held my parent’s 50th on June 25th w/ all 7 kids & 22 of 24 grandchildren present. Then did a family trip to Havasu. That is why I am so delayed in getting to TM. It is, as always, worth the wait. :)

    [Reply]

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