“Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing, is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.” ~ Phyllis Diller, American comedienne and actress, born 1917.
If this post doesn’t prompt you to throw your two cents in…
as a mom first and educator second…
I’m quite confident that no topic will.
How do you deal with the dynamic that comes from any one of the following…
living in a house with a possibly-larger-than-2.5-child-family…
being “together” 24/7, as opposed to those that are “gone from the family dynamic”…
at least 8 hours a day?
Inquiring minds really do want to know…
what your hints…
tips…
solutions…
are to this particular situation.
Because this is the ideal that we see on a regular basis…
and this is what many people feel as if they’re really battling!
Or worse yet…
really are.
I’m not here to promote one particular methodology or system…
but at the same time…
recognize that moms are brilliant!
What works for you…
may not for me…
but could very well be a lifeline for someone else!
Here are some things that I’ve learned over the years.
Most of society…
doesn’t live my life.
Simply meaning…
I am not “the norm”.
Sons #1-#5 find this to be slightly understated.
And as long as I have my children home 24/7…
regardless of how many of them there are…
I never will be “normal.”
This is something you simply must own.
Mom speak?…
Those “Scrubbing Bubbles” (TM) bathroom toilet gels…
that suggest on the side of the box…
that they “need replacing once a week”…
last 1.5 – 2 days max in a house full of home-educated boys…
where the toilet…
replaces one of those cascading…
perpetual waterfall relaxation fountains…
because of constant flushing!
Rejoice.
And plan accordingly when purchasing.
Perhaps also plan accordingly as well…
when the temptation arises to compare yourself to others.
Martha Stewart?…
has beautiful ideas…
lovely resources…
and expectations that most women need a pole vaulting background…
to rise to any measure of success in achieving!
She has a staff.
Very few of which are over the age of 30!
They work 24/7…
to make her look good!
Do you see children on her programs?!
Do you see Martha personally doing all of the things…
that she suggests you undertake?
Enough said.
Avoid placing yourself…
in social situations…
where the expectation level consistently runs this high.
They don’t compliment and encourage your life goals and choices.
You can do anything for 15 minutes.
And if that 15 minutes is focused, committed time…
it honestly does add up to quite a bit of accomplishment!
Adding an element of FUN to the often mundane…
does make tasks more palatable.
Everyone needs certain life skill sets to be able to live on their own.
Are you incorporating these skills into daily life…
as opportunities in which your kids will learn and grow?
How do you deal with the daily clutter?
Living 24/7 together?
These questions apply to every phase of Leadership Education…
and every walk of life!
At times they can “make or break” a dynamic learning environment…
and atmosphere that is conducive to inspiration.
So settle in…
get yourself a nice cold drink…
and let ‘er rip!
The “web lines” are open!
What works for you…
your family…
your life?
We’d love to know!
I am a perfectionist and tend to get frustrated very easily when I can’t seem to get done what is important to me. I have had to take several deep breaths, gather my chi and repeat to myself several times a day that it is ok because if I do not teach my children how to clean in baby steps now and praise their efforts then when they are older and really expected to do it on their own they will not be able to as teenagers/single young adults/spouses/parents. I still have days when I fall apart but they are not nearly as frequent. By the way this probably took about a year to retrain myself. I usually correct their mistakes the next time that they clean instead of immediately after their effort. I also try to teach that if you made the mess you clean it up — again this requires a lot of chi gathering. I am looking forward to reading other people’s comments. I am always looking for that new little bit of information that might “click” with my kids (and husband).
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I have to be the first one to say that Clutter is my arch-nemesis. There’s just so many amazing things I want to do with my time and scrubbing the toilet is just not one of them. I’ve stopped looking at Pottery Barn magazines because every time I do I feel guilty that my children aren’t dressed in light blue polo shirts and crisply pressed chinos or a cotton sun dress and eating sloppy ice cream without spilling any on said items of clothing. Don’t get me wrong, I love clean kids and I love a clean house but all of the home magazines are to a homeschool house what beauty magazines are to a woman’s self-esteem. Unrealistic. Each family has to decide what their personal priorities are in the home. We have one room that I require to stay clean at all times. The kids can use it, but it has to be picked up when they leave. Beyond that, it’s just a matter of continually battling the daily dirt, and conquering Mt. Washmore one load at a time. I finally folded all of my clean laundry this past weekend, it had been about a month…maybe two. My children still have to brave the dreaded “Sock Box” to find a pair every morning, but at least they are clean. There IS a difference between the detritus of home education and dirt though I frequently have both all over my floors. The thing that’s great about the messes is that it’s such a great example of everything else our children will deal with when they get older. Don’t we spend a good portion of our lives tidying things up? Cleaning out the clutter in a relationship so you have a chance to really appreciate the beauty of it? Recognizing when YOU made the mess, saying you’re sorry, and then cleaning it up? Cleaning up spilled milk helps a child understand that accidents happen, being careful can prevent most of them, but no matter what the cause you just have to start cleaning up the mess and move on. They each have a chore because they are part of a family and it is their right and responsibility as part of that family to participate in working together. Isn’t that the beginnings of citizenship? And I think it’s working. While I still have to remind (poke, prod, nudge, shove) my children to do their chores they do occasionally do something of their own volition and they are so pleased with themselves when they do. I want them to feel that satisfaction of willingly taking responsibility for something and making a difference, after all isn’t that the real definition of success?
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I think that Vernie really summed it up. No one actually lives in those home magazine sets and just like on Martha Stewart it takes a whole team of behind the scenes blood,sweat and tears to pull off those looks. I’m never going to have the behind the scenes crew or the personal assistant so I have to use what I have my kids who are partly responsible for the mess, dirt, clutter and assorted other things that find there way into their pockets, the recesses of our couch, the corners of their rooms and sometimes my purse. We generally try to live by the rule if you made the mess it is your responsibility to clean it up. We use teamwork aka a chore chart (directions can be found in The Home Companion) to tackle everyday dirt and try to tidy up as we go. Homeschooling is the biggest obstacle in clutter because we are home all the time and I constantly have three individual bodies engaged in one project or more. I’ve had to let go of some of the control issues and accept that things will be messy sometimes and the learning that is happening is well worth the unsightly mess. I stole/borrowed a color code system from Christy to tackle the inevitable whose towel is on the floor question and we use it for school supplies, towels and drinking cups. It works and is an easy way to add accountability into your kids life. I think that the other thing that I have done recently that really helped was to reduce clutter in my boys room. We thinned out clothes so they have just enough for the week to reduce the ton of dirty clothes that I was washing each week. We also reduced the number of toys that were accessible for easy play so that clean up for them does not seem impossible. My consistency is what really contributes to a well organized and manageable clutter existence in our home. So I have to be diligent which lets be honest is easy to mess up.
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What a timely blog entry! I am just working on getting my house “in order”, which it never is. Great ideas so far…I hope they continue to flow. I want to get my house in order so I can implement a daily routine instead of constantly trying to catch up on the cleaning. Any routine ideas would also be very welcome. You can never get too many ideas! Thanks, Teri!
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Also, thanks to Gale, Vernie & Heather!
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When I first joind the “stay at home mom” crowd 7 years ago I was so excited to have all the extra time to keep my house clean, organized, and smelling fresh. I even imagined well prepared meals with a home grown parsley garnish for my hard working husband… BA HA HA HA HA!! That did NOT happen – 3 kids ages 3 and under at the time proved to be much more fun than cleaning and cooking all day
… now that the Bugs are older I have things a tad (just a tad) more under control. As Heather mentioned, my handiest ‘tool’ is color coding the kids. I have one red, blue and green kid – and pretty much everything they have is that color. I know exactly who left their milk cup on the table, pencil on the floor, etc. Some of their things are “character” coded too- I have one Hannah Montanna fan, so it’s easy to know those items are hers, etc.
The next tip I want to share is Fly Lady – flylady.net. She is a huge advocate of the 15 minute clean sweep Teri mentioned. Fly Lady changed my life!!!
I attempt to keep up with the clutter using many of the fly lady methods – in a nutshell:
I have daily chores – on Monday, Wednesday and Friday we vaccume. Tuesdays and Thursdays are bathrooms. I sweep the floor Mon Wed and Friday and wash on Friday. (Spot mop inbetween if I feel so compelled) – and on it goes. I wake up – go “it’s Thursday” – and I immediately know what I need to accomplish. I spend 15 minutes every day taking care of a “hot spot”. The bugs have a chore chart and they have chores morning, afternoon and before bed. I rotate the BIG chores like windows and sheets – and do something every week. We have 4 beds, so it works perfect that sheets get changed once a month – making sheets a once a week chore – just on a different bed… windows are always fun (NOT) and get skipped quite often, lol. But something has to give – right???
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