2010 January

“Pastor’s Kid” (PK) and “Perky Paradox” (PP) part 2: A story to illustrate the value of CORE

January 29, 2010 By Teri 2 Comments

Continued from the post on January 22, 2010.

Perhaps, looking back today, wanting me DEAD is a slight bit of an exaggeration on how high emotions were running.

But it certainly didn’t seem like it at the time.

Each and every week was a stand off in class, and it wasn’t promising to get better any time soon.

It was the usual display of grade school/ junior high maturity…

whispering as you “circled your wagons”…

dirty looks…

fill-in-the-blank note passing…

and on and on.

I’m almost certain that payback has reared its ugly head 10 times over with my own children as well as others,

because of what we put that poor Sunday School teacher through!

This went on literally for months.

I “hated” that girl…

And I wasn’t even allowed to use the “h” word!

I have failed to mention, that for the first 9 years of my father’s tenure at said church…

P1000331

we commuted.

From the Seattle area.

One hour.

Each way.

We didn’t move to the Graham area until 2 years before we were called to leave.

Or rather my father was…

But I’m getting ahead of myself here.

Because we commuted back and forth, and there was an evening service,

the good people of this fellowship took it upon themselves to have our family to dinner after the morning service.

Home-style cooking…

by farm families…

followed by an afternoon of fellowship and most likely some scrumptious home-made dessert.

So far, so good.

Until that fateful day…

when “her family” was the scheduled after-church-meal home.

Talk about the Last Supper brought to life!

This could be it.

I tried every possible way to make it my personal “Passover“,

but to no avail.

I couldn’t feign illness…

there was no one to watch me.

I contemplated an impromptu personal fast…

too obvious.

Darn it!

As we were heading to the car, my dad decided to have a word with me.

“May I see you a minute, honey?”

Oh brother here we go…pep talk 101.

“I’ve noticed that you and DeDe seem to have an issue with one another.”

Rats.

“You know, these great people have all worked together to make sure that we’re fed, rested, and housed for the afternoon on Sundays…”

“I’d like you to be decent, cordial and gracious for the opportunity to get to know some new folks.”

Surely he jests.

” I know that I can count on you to uphold our family standards, regardless of what anyone else may choose to do.”

I’m a goner.

You see, my dad had this Leadership Education thing pretty much down.

Still does, by the way.

In retrospect, he modeled some very foundational principles for successful CORE and Love of Learning phases.

1. He knew where we were and what we were doing at all times. Even when he looked absent. I can assure you that I never once saw him enter that Sunday School class. Ever. Yet, he was keeping a handle on everything my brother and I were doing. Scratch that. My brother was in kindergarten. At that age he was innocent.

2. When disaster was about to strike in the form of my personal pettiness and self centeredness, he stepped in and not only took control as the parent, but he appealed to my sense of family identity and responsibility.

My brother, Tim, brought up a great point when he was speaking at an event a few years ago.

With the rise of rebellion on the 1960′s in our country,

one of the catch phrases that became a practiced philosophy was to question authority.

Fast forward to the day when those questioning became the authority.

Many of them were at a total loss when it came to the knowledge of how to parent.

Our dad wasn’t one of those people.

If you are, this is a great place to begin you not them.

Are you secure in your core, and are you valuing it’s necessity to a strong Leadership Education?

Confident in your parenting?

If not, what do you need to do?

Only you can answer, discern, evaluate.

There’s a lot at stake.

to be continued…

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Debbie Hardesty: Career Path to Motherhood, Arkansas to Vietnam, Face to Face with Leadership Education

January 27, 2010 By Teri 11 Comments

I love, love, love Debbie Hardesty!

I first met her on the phone, when she called to ask some questions about Leadership Education. When we had finished, she had made the decision to attend a #2 in the Face to Face With Greatness Series here in Southern California; and flew here from Arkansas. That’s commitment!

I am well aware that this post is longer than what you’re normally used to. However, it is wonderful and full of things that people attempting to practice Leadership Education can identify with and relate to quite well. You’ll be glad you invested the time to read it. And besides…you have until Friday to “Get-Er-Done!” TeriSig

I currently reside in West Fork, AR which has a population of about 2000, not including chickens or cows.

Debbie Hardesty 3

West Fork lies about 10 miles south of Fayetteville in the northwest corner of the state.

My wonderful husband, Brian, and I met at church in Fayetteville.

Debbie Hardesty 1

Four months prior to our meeting, I had just moved to Fayetteville to work on my Masters at the University of Arkansas. Brian and I dated for six weeks before we were engaged, married about 4 months after that time, and currently have been happily married for over 17 years. No need to waste time.

Before having children, I was on a career path. My goal was to earn my PhD in something in order to teach at the college level. I didn’t really care which subject area my doctorate focused on, the bottom line was the degree so I could teach. Furthermore, I had an issue that I wanted to prove I was somebody and thought a title would do that. Approximately two and half years into my doctorate everything changed.

In the book A Thomas Jefferson Education for Teens, it states “that when God wants to change the world, he sends a baby…” That is exactly what God did to change my world, he sent me a son. Against popular opinion, I left being in charge of a lab, cultivating cow pituitary cells in an incubator, and the once coveted three letters (PhD.) for a different set of three letters and the title—M-O-M. I still get to teach, just not in front of a classroom of college students. Instead, it is the realm of multiple arenas—living room, kitchen, van, grocery store, or park and to only four students—three boys, ages 14, 10, & 9 and one daughter, age 2.

We always held to several goals as we began the process of home education. First, we want our children to understand themselves—their own strengths and weaknesses. Also, we try to help our children understand others from many angles—gender, temperament type, love language, situations and culture. Serving and loving others takes on a deeper meaning where there is understanding. Furthermore, we hope our children will grow up to be leaders and to love to learn. Last, yet most important, we are trying to cultivate a heart that loves God with all their heart, soul, and mind.

So many times I could see the purpose or target in home educating our children, but my aim was totally off.

I would shoot at the target, but the arrow would veer off course. Instead of my children saying they loved to learn, they complained. Instead of thinking learning was a privilege; they thought it was a punishment. One child even stated he was stupid and would never “get it”. Those words would ALWAYS rip my heart! I knew that sending them to a typical public school was not the answer and would not achieve the desired goals. So, I did what any mother would do in that situation. I got down on my knees, tears in my eyes, and begged God for answers. Have you been there?

I have always searched for answers. So when I ran across a package on Andrew Pudewa’s site, The Institute in Excellence in Writing, concerning leadership education, I stopped, explored, and bought. In the mail came two CDs (The Seven Keys of Great Teaching and A Classical Approach to Art, Math, and Science) and two booklets (Core and Love of Learning: A recipe for Success and Scholar Phase). I had them all read, listened to, and notes scratched in the margins before the end of the week. Was what I read and listened to possible? Was this the answer? Two months later, I ordered and read A Thomas Jefferson Education by DeMille I wanted my children to have a leadership education! This is what I had been looking for.

Yet, the simplicity did not resonate within my mind—I did not get the “how to”. It is extremely difficult to change over 22 years of conveyor belt and professional educational thinking. Plus, my temperament type tends to be goal orientated. It was always about the bottom line and not the process. I was going to have them from diapers to college in record time. I was trying to force and pour into my kids what I thought they should learn, instead of drawing out their interests and what they wanted to learn. It wasn’t working. This is exactly why I was missing the target! (Ding-Ding-Ding-Ding-Ding as bells go off.) Now what?—More books!!!

In the mail came A Thomas Jefferson Home Companion and Leadership Education: the Phases of Learning. Now I had it—55 steps to a leadership education. Here we go…I had a walk-in closet upstairs full of “school books”. These were MY school books that I would take down one at a time to force to let my kids read grade by grade, book by book, according to the curriculum design. I had the books arranged in the upstairs closet accordingly. Deep Breath…I was going to take the books from upstairs, place them on bookshelves downstairs according to Ingredient #19 in The Phases of Learning. During the entire process, I was fighting with myself. I felt this sense of panic come over me as I took everything out of “sequential” order.

One part exclaimed, “Trust the process?”

The other part interjected, “What is the process that I’m supposed to trust?”

“You’re doing this for your kids.”

“Now, you won’t be able to find anything. It will take you forever to find a book.”

“This is supposed to help inspire your kids. Trust the process.”

“What are those Lamaze breathing techniques—Hee, Hee, Who! I think I’m getting dizzy. Is it the taking the books out of order or the walking up and down the stairs?”

(I know. I needed help. “Hi, my name is Debbie, and I’m a conveyor belt junkie.”)

In the mean time, my boys are watching me walk up and down the stairs. About the third time down, they stop me. “Mom, who are you talking to?”

“No one, why?”

“You keep shaking your head yes and no and getting funny looks on your face.” If only they knew the battle going on inside.

After the last trip down the stairs, the boys start pulling out and looking at all these books. Sitting down, flipping through the pages, reminiscing over some we had read and exploring others we hadn’t. I sat back with tears trickling down my face. “Trust the process!!”

I did figure out that I did not need all 55 ingredients to implement a leadership education. They are very helpful as shown with the above story; but after 10 TJEd books or booklets later, and a trip to CA to a Face to Face with Greatness Seminar the process is as easy as read, discuss, write, and apply. Simplicity, not complexity. (I did say I was trying to break over 22 years of bad conveyor belt habits!)

I think “inspire, instead of require” will always be the hardest key for me. But I’m getting better! My kids already knew I spoke to myself. Well, I have also begun to read out loud to myself. I had been so tired of trying to get everyone into the living room to read to them—driving them by force. So instead, I sat in the living and began to read a story to myself—laughing and throwing out comments as “wow”, “cool”. Within minutes, I had one son sitting on my lap; another son pulling a chair up beside me; a third son, who was surfing ESPN on the internet, making comments about the book; and my husband engaged in another project but grinning as I read. It was easy and SOOO much less stress. I wonder what will be the next book I will read “to myself”.

Teri asked me what my favorite thing was about TJEd. It is the fact I know what I’m doing is right! If Teri or Dr. Brooks lost their mind…okay, any more than they have…and decided to shun leadership education, I would still pursue it wholeheartedly. (But, Teri and Dr. Brooks, PLEEEEEASE don’t abandon me now!!) I know this is right for the individual, the family, and for our nation to maintain its freedoms.

I told you I have a two year old daughter.

What I did not tell yet is that we adopted her from Vietnam when she was 8 months old. It was one of the hardest and most rewarding things we have ever done. We fought over 2 years of bureaucracy from two countries and mounds of paper work; we have been child abuse checked, FBI checked, local and county police records checked; we flew one way over 23 hours with me spending 16 hours of those in an airplane bathroom because of airsickness. (Oh, the stories I could tell.) Our reason for doing this was to bring freedom, especially religious freedom, to a child who would not otherwise have it. We did not fly halfway around the world to bring a child home for her to lose her freedom here on American soil!!! TJEd is right because it is the type of education that will save our Republic! I’m moving forward and not looking back! I’m fighting for my kids’ freedom!

Right before we adopted our daughter I wrote the following:

THE TAPESTRY

I believe that God has been creating a tapestry since the beginning of time, and He is still weaving His plan today. In this tapestry is the life of every person that lived, is living, and will live. Each of those people is represented as one string. There are strings from people like the pharaoh during Moses time whose heart was hardened so God showed his power through the ten plagues. Or the people of Babylon or Assyria, who were wicked themselves, but God used them to destroy a rebellious people. Then there is the string of Abraham who went from being scared to claim Sarah as his wife in Egypt to a man who was willing to sacrifice Isaac because God told him to do it, and it was accounted to him as righteousness. Weaved also is the string of Esther, an orphan once herself, who put her life on the line and saved her people. My prayer is that someday when I get to look at this tapestry that I see two strings, Brian’s and mine, running from my home to Vietnam. Then three strings coming back across the ocean. Then a little later I hope to see one of those strings heading back to Vietnam, taking a nation the Word of God. Furthermore, God only knows what other strings we will see wrapped around this process of us trying to bring God to a child and possibly others within a nation. Individually we are only a string. Together, even if we are for God or against Him, we make a tapestry. I hope God sees us working for Him.

I would march forward by myself on this road of a leadership education, but I’m thankful I do not have to! I’m thankful Teri has created this blog to weave us together to hopefully make a tapestry that screams again that America is a land of virtue, courage, and liberty for us and especially for our children!

A side note: Make sure to get a copy of A Thomas Jefferson Education for Teens.

WOW, what a book! Dr. DeMille and Dr. Brooks took a lot of resources and made them applicable to daily life. Every sentence has a nugget of gold wrapped in it. So, do not casually skim by the text. I wish that I had this book at a younger age! Then maybe I would have realized sooner the process is just as important as, or more so than the bottom line. Furthermore, maybe I would have learned quicker that the mission is more important than the title. Just because I couldn’t read by the time I was in 3^rd grade did not mean I had to spend a big chunk of the rest of my life proving I was somebody. So, I highly encourage everyone to read this book!

Filed Under: In the Spotlight...

Today It’s Your Birthday!

January 25, 2010 By Teri 5 Comments

Fifty years ago today, a hero was born…

In the middle of a blizzard in Glasgow, Montana.

There really wasn’t anything super-hero-like at the time…

But he was definitely into emulating heroes of his own.

There was no doubt about the fact that he was a cute kid.

And a great older brother.

He grew in stature and began to get an education.

Dead center, in the front row, of the kindergarten class.

As he grew up in this organization…

The size of his family grew right along with him, until he had three brothers.

He played a little football…

and did a bit of fishin’…

He acquired friendships…

and served others, while loving God and country.

Eventually, he began to date a girl…

(well he actually dated far more than one, but for the sake of this tribute, bear with me here.)

At the time, she apparently thought that looking like Laura Ingalls Wilder was “chic.”

He didn’t care.

Because the appearance of style wasn’t paramount…

evidenced by this hair.

The boy and the girl hung out a lot…

decided to get married…

and eventually had this kid.

Incidentally, mocking another’s personal sense of style…

nearly guarantees that you are bound to lose your own.

This truth would be evidenced in the above photo by HER hair.

This is better…

but could still use help.

Along with the birth of this child…

they decided that perhaps it was time to start focusing on the really important things.

Like ever strengthening faith.

Family.

Core values.

Personal growth.

Fast forward to this past Saturday evening…

Lots of years, lots of growth, coupled with the inevitable hard times and struggles…

and five sons later.

A surprise party.

that involved a lot of planning… (and strategic packing)

Effort and reliance upon family and a community of dear friends…

But in the end it produced this…

and this

Which eventually led to THE SURPRISE…

A gathering of nearly 200 family and close friends…

It was an evening of fun…

timeless memories…

and powerful tributes.

It was an evening to be treasured…

and will most definitely be remembered.

Would you care to read a sampling of the things that were said?

“He is a great older brother.”

“As kids, he never “ratted” us out, but became one of us. We were a brotherhood…

He’s carried that same ethic into adulthood and would do anything for me…in fact he has.”

“He has a tremendous work ethic.”

“He is always there for me whenever I need him.”

“He practices servant leadership.”

“He models his faith without saying a word.”

“He loves unconditionally.”

Then the rubber really met the road.

Son #1

“Most kids growing up think that their dad is the greatest…

Today, at 21, mine still is. I couldn’t have picked a better one if I had been allowed.’

“He has never given me a reason to be ashamed of him.”

“He doesn’t quit. Ever.”

Son #2

“My dad practices servant leadership.”

“He inspires not only this present generation, but the future one.”

“He leads by being the example, which produces inspiration, not requirement.”

“We could never express to you how much we admire and love our dad.”

Followed by a toast…

Yep…there were lots of tears…

tons of laughs.

Joyous reunitings.

You know…

the stuff that life is made of.

There was clean up…

highlighted and demonstrated here by the dear friends previously pictured…

don’t they look nice?

There is always an opportunity to practice servant leadership…

regardless of how you’ve just been honored.

But make no mistake…

Honored you will be.

If you pay the price.

Trust in a good and gracious God.

Do the work.

Run the race.

It takes a lot to make a family, a legacy, a life.

Proof that heros are made, not born.

Happy 50th, to my #1 Hero! XO, TeriSig

Filed Under: In the Spotlight..., Leadership Education, Real Life

“The Pastor’s Kid” meets “The Perky Paradox”, part 1

January 22, 2010 By Teri 2 Comments

I’m quite confident that many people have their togas in a real twist over the seemingly derogatory comment about Scholar phase on Wednesday.

Let me clarify.

Scholar phase is, indeed, a noble goal for all pursuing a Leadership or Liberal Arts Education.

However, it is not an end all.

I think that people have a glorified position, possibly even an infatuation for Scholar phase…

because there is finally something tangible…

something you can measure.

We, in our wonderful American culture, tend to default to what is measurable much of the time, don’t we?

Faith is definitely tough.

Core and Love of Learning take a lot of it.

Faith, that is.

I hope that you can read between the lines in my own “riveting” story here…

(Hey, who’s that coughing?!)

And see some principles that will help and encourage you…

both with your children and yourself.

p.s. In case it’s been rough lately, or you’re up nights…

I’ll provide a running commentary in italized, colored print when patterns and principles appear…

because the running commentary piece seems to be part of what I do best.

(Is anyone else REALLY still out there?…or am I speaking to an “empty room”?)

As I began my descent into Seattle last week, and looked out the airplane window…

I was filled with nostalgia for this area that I had grown up in…

and at the same time saddened.

It had been too long since I’d been home…

and the current circumstances were less than desirable.

Inevitable, but still undesirable.

As I made my way through the once all-too-familiar-but-you’ve-stayed-away-too-long-and-we’ve-expanded terminal…

I was thoughtful about the current state of events.

This wouldn’t be easy…

but it is always good to come home.

To reflect on what was…

what has shaped and molded you into who you are…

what has changed.

And to look at where you and everyone else are going…

so that you can evaluate some things…

which allows you to stay the course with greater effectiveness.

It was pouring down rain.

Not an uncommon ambiance this time of year in the Pacific Northwest.

I greeted DeDe with a huge hug.

Once we were on the freeway, heading towards home, the tears began to flow freely…

coupled with heavy sobs.

“I’m so glad you came.”

“I couldn’t do this without you.”

“I get so much strength from your presence.”

I reached across the seat and took her hand.

I commented quietly, ” For heaven’s sake, where else would I be?”

Her tears seemed to mingle with the pounding of the rain on the windshield…

and the methodical sound of the wipers going back and forth, back and forth…

When I was in the middle of the third grade…

my father was asked to take the pastorate in Graham, Washington.

In my always outspoken, rather vocal opinion… ( yes, even then)

this was a nearly catastrophic turn of events.

You see, I was really something.

I was a part of what C.S. Lewis refers to as the Inner Ring.

I was an uber-urban, “high society”, city loving, pastor’s child, that had definitely arrived.

At least in the privacy of my own mind…

where all truth formulates when you’re between 5-10, right?

I was chic, “cultured”…

and “too good” to be relegated against my will to a glorified cow pasture.

I mean, pleeaasse.

I shared these thoughts again and again with my city slicker friends…

every chance I had…

back at our old, large, more cultured “city church…”

which I actually visited often at first….

to help “ease the transition.”

Now, others may have seen things just a tad bit differently from their perspective…

my own father included.

He himself had grown up on a farm…

and thought that farm life was a most respectable perspective from which to see and formulate life.

To give you a solid, no-holds-barred perspective on the level of my chic, sophistication…

take a look at this picture.

I’m warning you, it’s a real reality check.

I’m the one on the right.

Ready?

I knew you weren’t…

but there is absolutely no adequate preparation for a sight such as this.

In the history of the world, has there ever been another time...

when some brilliant equally dim-witted individual has combined battleship grey with brown plaid…

and white knee high sox…

And lived to blog about it?

Oh, I was something else alright!

And I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that there was one eternal overriding truth…

And this was it…

THIS girl…this nasty, mean, snotty, aloof, muck- boot- wearin’…

cow-lovin’,farm-hand little chickadee…

in my new Sunday School class…

in MY DAD’S new church…

was out to get me.

No…

it was worse.

She wanted me dead….

D-E-A-D.

I just knew it.

So there. TeriSig

to be continued…

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Core…A Modern Day Leadership Paradox

January 20, 2010 By Teri 3 Comments

“The Foundational and Learning Phases are the most basic of Leadership Education. Each is vital and they must come in the right order- Core, the Love of Learning, Scholar then Depth. …Each of the phases is important; but the Foundational Phases do come first, and they continue to animate the whole process and set the tone for later successes or failures.” Leadership Education, Oliver and Rachel DeMille, page 32, emphasis mine.

As I stated previously, I spent Thursday to Sunday of this past week in the Seattle area.

I haven’t been “home” in five years.

I spent all of my childhood from the ages of 6 to 21 living in the Pacific Northwest.

And what a great childhood it was.

I would like to tell you that it was perfect…

without pain, conflict or controversy of any kind…

but that would be the most dishonest of deceptions.

I think that people seeking a true leadership education tend to struggle already…

The bar is set so high, and the expectation level is fraught with Pollyanna-type illusions.

I needn’t fuel a fire that is often self-started…

and successfully maintained at a smoldering level in many over achieving individuals.

What my childhood entailed,

definitely falls into an unusually high, above- average category.

I am, and always will be eternally grateful for this.

It defined, and continues to define, the individual that I am today.

You hear a tremendous amount about the Scholar phase in Leadership Education…

as if it is a rite of passage of sorts.

A destination.

An end result.

And yet, the true foundation and point of reference for who you are and what you become

is defined in the Core phase of your life.

At times, this truth can seem backwards.

Like a mistake.

Puzzling.

It is my hope that every individual reading this

will come to welcome and embrace the realization

that one of the greatest paradoxes of Leadership Education is this…

The phase that gets the least accolades, attention and recognition most of the time

is undoubtedly the most meaningful and important.

I hope that this infuses every tired parent and mentor with energy…

Fortitude.

Courage.

The time that you are putting in…

that goes seemingly unnoticed…

day after day, week after week and year after year…

MATTERS MOST.

These realities were physically reinforced when I received the text on December 29th from my closest childhood friend…

my dearest cohort in Core and Love of Learning Phases…

that her father was minutes from passing away.

There was never even a question on my end of this news,

as to whether or not I would need to be there on January 16, 2010.

Family and friends would gather together to pay their respects to this man…

Robert Ohlund

an individual who was a stellar representation of faithfulness and steadfast devotion to God and family…

to principles and ethics that this country was founded and made great upon.

I entered this sleepy little community 40 years ago…

as a “Snot-nosed, city loving, superior-to-farm-life-feeling pastor’s kid.”

I returned last week as a “Gratitude-filled, mother-of-five, peace-brought-by-rural-living-loving, best friend.”

What brings about this kind of transformation?

Life.

It’s celebrations…

Tragedies…

Seemingly mundane daily events…

and the personal influence of people that are woven throughout.

In the midst of it all…

are the principles, foundations, and reinforced messages that we call “Core.”

They are delivered most powerfully by associations with family and friends.

Insignificant?…

Hardly.

Life changing?

Always.

I hope you’re watching and guarding this phase of education and ultimately, life…

very closely.

It’s vital.

Important.

Sacred.

Hopefully, as I continue this story, through sharing

and ordinary personal example…

You’ll be challenged to revisit and reevaluate the profound influence of one of Core phases most

influential components…

the association with

and influence of others.

Tune in Friday for: “The Pastor’s Kid” Meets the “Perky Paradox”…

How 11 Years in a Country Church Shaped and Continues to Enhance My Life.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

More to come on Wednesday…and Dr. Brooks in Temecula

January 18, 2010 By Teri Leave a Comment

I have been out of town since Thursday of last week in Seattle,

revisiting a huge portion of my childhood…

And honoring the life and legacy

of the father of my closest childhood friend.

He passed away December 29th.

I just returned this evening.

While I have a lot to share,

I am tired.

Tired, but both happy and grateful.

Happy to have seen people,

some of whom I haven’t been with in 20 years…

happy to have had some time to renew relationships and ponder childhood memories…

Grateful to have had people…

solid, stable, hard-working people

affirm my family legacy and express thankfulness yet again…

for my father’s own legacy of faithfulness.

I’ll be back Wednesday with more…

when we begin a journey revisiting our core.

For those of you wanting to take people to hear Dr. Shanon Brooks, he will be in Temecula,

Friday, January 22, 2010 from 7-9 p.m. at

The Reserve

42586 Musilek

Temecula, CA 92592

Please e-mail Erika Lundquist for further information at evlundquist@gmail.com or phone

(951) 722-0105.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Oh Brother!

January 15, 2010 By Teri 3 Comments

Tim Driver has been in education for 23 years. During this time, he has been both a teacher and an administrator.He’s taught a spectrum that includes everything from junior high to graduate school. Some of his most effective work has been with at-risk youth; designing and implementing a program specifically for them and running it successfully for 12 years in the Lake Washington School District.

He has also coached at the high school level in four different sports for 24 years, with numerous trips to state tournaments and a state championship in 1992.

He will be speaking at the upcoming FATJEF in Rancho Cucamonga on Saturday, April 24, 2010.

The reason for the slightly casual, somewhat irreverent approach to this interview?

He also happens to be my kid brother. As awesome as he is, in the eyes of his older sister…

he’s still a “punk!”

Favorite book:

The Bible, No Other Alternative (when it gets published) a book that he has written, chronicling his journey with the founding and administering of his at-risk youth program.

Favorite sibling: Never mind… ;0)

I have no favorite sibling…………..I’m an only twin.

Favorite board game:

I’d have to say chess at this point in my life. That may change to checkers as I age.

Anything else along these lines you’d like to cough up?

Love to write lyrics and thought provoking comedy. I also speak all over the place to many groups as well. I enjoy that very much.

Why did you go into teaching?

All through school, people would ask me to help them in one class or another. I got to the place where I gained a little bit of confidence there. But it wasn’t until I worked with high school at-risk kids that I decided that was what I wanted to do. I also had many GREAT teachers such as Bruce Brown, Thad McManus and Don Harney who were great role models for me; along with Mary Ousley, Jim Murphy, and too many others to name.

Favorite subject:

History, Political Science, as it relates to teaching people how to study it.

While I happen to know that teaching is a passion; for you coaching happens to be right up there with it. Why do you love to mentor in this way?

Coaching IS teaching. John Wooden never called himself a coach, but a teacher.

Just as in the classroom, you’re teaching so much more than your subject or sport. You are teaching life lessons.

The reason I enjoy coaching so much is because you can see growth in kids’ lives so dramatically over a 3-4 year stretch.

The title of one of your presentations for the upcoming FATJEF in April is “Helicopter Parenting: It Isn’t a Good Idea. Do you care to expound and explain?

Parents have an INCREDIBLY important role in the lives of their children. But some parents don’t understand that ONE of those roles is to teach them independence. Parents who never let their kids have a problem, a conflict, or a struggle without their intervention are doing their kids a huge disservice. I will be discussing some strategies that parents can use to create boundaries for themselves, that allow them to still be actively involved but in appropriate ways.

What, in your perspective, is a healthy balance between a “Helicopter Parent” household and the public school situation described in John Taylor Gatto’s article “The Seven Lesson Schoolteacher?”( keeping in mind that most parents really do want what is best for their children.)

Not to oversimplify, but if people are relying on school to fully educate their children, they are in trouble. Likewise, if people are counting on home to fully educate their children, they are in equal trouble.

I think that even when people do a good job of home educating their kids, there is still a tremendous fear that they aren’t measuring up. One of the greatest things you helped me to realize, is that there is a very fine line between an at-risk youth and a driven honor student. It really makes you think about motive. Care to explain this one?

I have not met a competent teacher yet that doesn’t question their own effectiveness. We ALL do.

Having taught both ends of the spectrum, from junior high, up through the graduate college level; I can say confidently that people are people. Labels that are attached to them can have incredible impact. I’ve found that honors kids are really quite deficient in some areas, scared to death that people will discover it. Likewise, at-risk kids are incredibly PROficient in some areas, equally as scared that someone will find out. Grad students are no different.

What is one of the greatest life skills or character traits in your opinion that you believe a parent or mentor can model for kids?

Integrity

What is the greatest thing that a student ever taught you?

That I need to have a teachable spirit every day and learn every bit as much from others as I am expecting others to learn.

Anything else you want to say at this time? ( Bear in mind that I can censor you at the click of a button) But go ahead…really.

Is the witness excused?

Thanks for doing this for me….

Not a problem. I actually cheated off of someone else’s paper.

I will attempt at some point in 2010 to do at least 3 kind things for you in return…

maybe.

I shant hold my breath.

Filed Under: In the Spotlight..., Leadership Education

What a Liberal Arts Education Can Do For You

January 13, 2010 By Teri 1 Comment

Amber Mitchell

I met Amber Mitchell online.

( Geez, it sounds like we’re those cheap, tawdry night time websurf babes!)

So sorry, Amber!…

Let me rephrase that…

I really met her on a conference call, and got to know her a bit better online.

She is delightful…

Upbeat, cheerful, with a great sense of humor.

When she sent me her picture, she wanted to know if she would be an alien like Dr. Brooks?

That, my friends, is an elite privilege, reserved solely for him…

which translates into: “I would really like to continue this blogging gig…

so that picture won’t be showing up again…

for awhile.

She has four children, ranging from 2-9 years of age.

Amber has known about Leadership Education for 3 ½ yrs.

Her greatest Leadership Education strength:

The ability to help others recognize that they, too, can be successful at Leadership Education…

and to encourage them to go for it.

Her weakness:

Realizing when to push ahead and when to let nature take its course.

She’s very grateful for, and inspired by, all the wonderful examples of Leadership Education she’s found nationwide as our community has expanded from coast to coast.

(I’m grateful that she was so willing to whip this up in all of her “free time”…

so that we could gain further insight into why your own Liberal Arts Education is so very important!)
TeriSig

What have I learned from taking the Liberal Arts classes?

I have learned more about myself and what my weaknesses are. More than anything else, in taking the Liberal Arts classes offered by Face to Face with Greatness Seminars, I have learned what my strengths are.

I have learned that I need to know more about world history and human nature so I can facilitate and encourage learning and change in myself and others.

I must know how some of the greatest minds in western history inspired people; in order to be able to inspire and share my quest for important knowledge with others, my children included.

I need to encourage them to seek their own education, no matter how hard.

I am striving to learn how to balance my study time along with my other daily responsibilities.

It would be so easy to say, “I will get to this later when my kids are older, I have more time, money, etc.”

However, I have grown in my understanding as to why I need a great Liberal Arts Education.

As I pursue an education in the Great Books of the Western World, I have started to realize exactly just how much ordinary people are capable of doing.

I have begun to see that I am capable of learning difficult concepts and have started developing faith in the process of learning.

I know that it helps me immensely to have the insights that Dr. Brooks and others in my class share about the readings we study.

It gives me an understanding of another’s viewpoint or interpretation of the reading; whether or not I agree with it.

I plan on taking as many liberal arts classes as I can in my personal journey towards a leadership education.

Amber Mitchell

Tri-Cities, WA

Filed Under: In the Spotlight..., Leadership Education

Simply Too Good to Pass Up…

January 11, 2010 By Teri 1 Comment

I think that we need to look at another reality in educating for Leadership…

Warning: This, too, is often not a “Snuggie”, in the day-to-day scheme of life.

But, as they say…

“The Show Must Go On.”

Life would be implied in this statement as well.

So… what happens when you don’t have the education that you need to mentor effectively…

Or you need help in mentoring a particular subject and are lacking in experience and skill?

Well, when the going gets tough, the tough get mentors!

We will discuss this many times in the course of this ever-evolving blog titled TommyMom.com

But for now, you may just have to trust that…

this opportunity is simply too good to pass up.

While it bears repeating, it’s also the title of this post.

Perhaps, then, since it has been stated twice…

you should continue to read.

Where do you find a mentor that is qualified?

How do you, a wife, mother, provider, father, adult-with-responsibilities…

continue to pursue a quality liberal arts education,

involving classics…

mentors…

exchange of great thoughts…

epiphanies…

dialogue…

the pursuit of great ideas…

while continuing to live life, fulfill responsibilities and meet other’s needs?

Well, we’re glad you’ve asked!

This is often the most daunting piece in embracing Leadership Education.

We have great news!

There is immediate and complete access to a qualified mentor!

In a “classroom” of your peers!…

You know…

People like the ones mentioned above…

Moms.

Dads.

People with daily responsibilities that simply cannot be ignored.

Now for the mentor…

He’s done the work.

He secured a phenomenal mentor himself…

Allowing him to pour into his life for 20 years.

The fruit is there.

People are being challenged.

They are hearing the message of organic Thomas Jefferson Education.

They remember that We are “The People”…

in a time where our nation needs us to remember…

And they are seizing the moment and the opportunity…

to be mentored themselves…

while pursuing a great education.

I certainly hope that you will too…

Because Dr. Shanon Brooks

is extending an offer…

That is “Simply Too Good to Pass Up.”

Won’t you join us?
TeriSig

Liberal Arts Courses Designed Just for You!
Want a taste of the liberal arts but are too busy with the responsibilities
of a rambunctious family or hectic work schedule?
Have you always wanted to study the great minds from history

but the time never seems right

for a commitment to a rigorous academic program?

No problem.

We have just what you’ve been waiting for.

Enough reading, writing and discussion to feel like you are making progress

without being overwhelmed or bogged down.

And since the classes are only 3 weeks long,

it isn’t a huge time commitment.
Anybody can study for 3 weeks!
Join Dr. Shanon Brooks…

and be mentored in the Great Books of the Western World.

Want to know more or register now?

You’ll be glad you did.

Filed Under: Leadership Education, Love to Learn

The Family Dinner Hour

January 8, 2010 By Teri Leave a Comment

Leigh Anne Wilkes photo

Leigh Anne’s number one priority has been and will always be her family.

She also feels strongly that it is possible for women to incorporate all of their interests, goals and ambitions into a balanced life.

She loves working with women and helping to inspire them to achieve their goals and dreams while still maintaining motherhood and family as their number one priority.

She has been a homebased mom for 25 years since her first baby boy was born! She has been married to hubby Jim for 28 years and is mom to Logan, 25, Clark, 23, Calista, 20 and Tessa 16. She has run various types of homebased businesses – from selling crafts, teaching children’s sewing classes and for the past 19 years a direct sales business. She has been fortunate enough to receive numerous national and regional awards in personal sales, recruiting and leader development. She is a top leader in her company.

In her spare time Leigh Anne loves reading, gardening, scrapbooking, photography and entertaining.

I grew up in the 60’s and 70’s (yes, I turn 50 this month!), in a middle class, Midwestern home, where every evening at 5:30 p.m. our family had dinner together. At the time this wasn’t that unusual, most of the families in our neighborhood were doing the exact same thing.

Yes, life was a little slower back then and children weren’t involved in 20 different activities on a weekly basis. Because both my husband and I grew up eating dinner together as a family it has always been an important part of our family dynamic.

We have learned to be a little more flexible (o.k., so it may not happen EVERY night) and creative (more on that in a minute) as a result of the life style we live today but it is still something that can happen – it just takes a bit of planning and creativity!

In a newspaper article I read they gave some pretty amazing statistics in favor of eating dinner together as a family – The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University in NY found that the more children eat dinner with their families, the less likely they are to smoke, drink and use drugs.

Now I know that eating dinner together as a family is no guarantee that your children will never get involved in smoking, drinking or drugs but it can help and it can’t hurt!

What use to be referred to as the “family dinner hour”, is now more like the “family dinner 15 minutes.” I’m not sure the amount of time is as important as the fact that you do connect and share that time and food together.

I have learned different methods and strategies over the years that have enabled us to eat dinner together as a family – at least the majority of the time.

Now I must admit, especially when the kids were smaller, sometimes the family dinner time was enjoying (I use the term loosely) a Happy Meal in the car together on the way home from soccer practice, sometimes it was a frozen pizza eaten standing up around the counter, or a grilled cheese sandwich but we were eating together!

Nowadays, with only one child left at home and a long list of after school activities and jobs on top of that it would be so easy to not worry about the family dinner hour.

No matter what the season your family is in, the point is that you make the best of the situation you have and that you are connecting as a family as often as you can, even if it’s only part of the family. When my husband travels, it would be easy to let the family dinner slide because there is just me and my daughter but we still sit down and eat together (it may be takeout but we eat together)

After 28 years of fixing and planning family dinners I have learned a few tips and tricks that make consistent family dinners easier.

Have a well stocked pantry. For a complete list of what I keep in my pantry check out this post on my blog.

Being prepared is half the battle! It’s hard to fix dinner when there is no food in the house.

2. Have a plan! There are several ways to do this. If you don’t have a supply of favorite family recipes or don’t like having to decide what to eat every night you may want to use a menu planning service, there are quite a few available. For a list go here.

Each month/week a menu list complete with recipes and grocery shopping list are sent to your inbox – how easy is that!

At our house we have put all of our family favorite recipes into a binder.

along with a list of favorite dinner ideas. Keeping your recipes organized and in one place with a list of family favorites is a huge help when it comes to deciding what’s for dinner

Sitting down with your list of family favorites once a week or once a month to plan out the menus saves lots of time and lots of trips to the grocery store! Knowing what’s for dinner every morning, before your day begins, can reduce the stress that meal planning and the family dinner hour can bring!

If you are like me and enjoy introducing new recipes into your family’s dinner repertoire on a regular basis I’d love for you to visit me at my blog, Your Homebased Mom for lots of new recipe ideas – all tested in my kitchen!

3. Choose a theme – having a different theme for each day of the week can work well too and make decisions easier.

Rice Sunday (stir fry with broccoli)

Pasta Monday (Spaghetti)

Crockpot Tuesday (Beef Stew)

Mexican Wednesday (Soft Taco Bar)

Easy Oven Thursday (Frozen Pizza)

Grill Friday (Hamburgers)

Chicken Saturday (Baked Chicken Breast)

There are lots of options available, even if you eat the same thing every night of the week, the important thing is you are eating it together – as a family!

Please visit Leigh Anne at her blog Your Homebased Mom where she blogs on a regular basis sharing some of her family’s favorite recipes!