Tommymom.com
Because no one is an island.
Community and fellowship inspire genius…
In my last post, I began to define the vision and purpose of this blog.
We need community.
I know that on a day to day basis, while raising my children, there have definitely been times where I felt like I was cycling on a high wire with no safety net.
Allow me to quote from 
this book once again.
” Americans love education, believe in education, and pay big money for education, but few agree on what it is, what it should accomplish, or what methods should be used to achieve it.
Second, the problems of education seem varied and complex but the complexity is a myth,rooted in a modern misconception about education and educators. Education can’t be fixed as long as we believe this basic myth The myth is that it is possible for one human being to educate another.
The fact is that the only person who can fix education is the student…” ”
Teaching, not education, should be our focus, because great teaching inspires students to educate themselves.“ …“Great teaching will solve our educational problems. “…Teachers teach and students educate. ” Students are the only true educators.”~ Oliver DeMille
Geez!, Now what am I supposed to do? This doesn’t follow the social dynamics of my local support group or any pop cultural trend!
And I was definitely “educated!” An honor student.
Let me digress here and say, that Son #1 will be 21 in December. The first edition of this book was published in the year 2000!
There was obviously a serious period of “wandering in the wilderness” while Oliver was penning these thoughts.
Hence the “tight rope act with no net” comment.
But herein also lies a source of strength for my conviction. A Mom, in most cases, knows what is best for her children. She is the expert.
I am quick to admit that I’ve made more than my fair share of mistakes.
There were times ( and still are, quite frankly) that I wanted to quit.
But this methodology isn’t new and it works.
It is simple, but not easy.
It’s effective, but not efficient.
It’s just that now it has principles that have not only been penned, but practiced.
By many.
They are powerful enough to make families strong, siblings the best of friends, and parents the greatest of advocates and allies.
Community adds to that strength. It builds confidence.
Spotlighting the diversity within that community gives hope to countless individuals that are struggling.
Life can be hard. Discouragement often begets despair.
But where hope and joy flourish, example is spotlighted, and faithfulness is given venue to be reinforced; discouragement and despair flee.
It is my sincerest hope that the effects of this blog will be to reinforce great thoughts, great people, and great ideas.
To inspire great leadership in your families…with your example being first.
And while we’re at it…we often need to lighten up.
Because it never hurts to laugh hysterically once in awhile either.
“A cheerful disposition is good for your health; gloom and doom leave you bone-tired.” ~Proverbs 17:22, The Message
Perhaps we should begin to look at the purpose and vision for this blog.
(Many of you will be relieved to know that there actually IS one.)
In Leadership Education, there are works that are considered to be “core” materials that address the methodologies and process of defining what Leadership Education is; and then go on to explain the methodologies behind the definition. One such “holy writ” would be “A Thomas Jefferson Education”, by Oliver DeMille.
In defining this vision, I quote from it now:
“For anyone to get an education, in our modern times or in any times, teachers and students must squarely face what Jacques Barzun called, “the difficulties, not the problems.
Problems are solved or disappear with the revolving times.
Difficulties remain.
It will always be difficult to teach well, to learn accurately, to read, to write, and count readily and competently, to acquire a sense of history and develop a taste for literature and the arts-in short, to instruct and start one’s education or another’s.”~ Oliver DeMille quoting Jacques Barzun, Teacher in America, 1945.
This is definitely not for wimps.
But once the “writ is read“, where do I go for affirmation?
To whom do I turn for support when the difficulties get more difficult?
I believe the answers and affirmations lie within the leadership community.
The challenge is, in today’s world it can be hard to define.
Where does the community lie?
How do I find it in order to “see” examples of how it’s being executed in day-to-day life?
I’m convinced it’s right in front of our noses.
The challenge then, is to become a student of the methods and a resident of the community so that the examples readily and naturally appear.
Leadership Education is principle based.
It’s a fabric that is woven throughout situations, peoples, and geographies.
Millions are practicing it, though it is often easily overlooked.
Moms primarily carry the torch.
They are “in the trenches” executing the plan day in and day out.
If families are fortunate, Dad is a stabilizing factor and encourager of the environment.
In this environment, students thrive and are inspired.
Mom needs support. A little encouragement goes a long way.
It’s challenging to “measure” progress, when the environment for building leaders doesn’t always match the one in which we were educated.
Our expectations can be high, and without perspective “the bar” continues to rise.
Tommymom wants to be a community of fellowship and encouragement.
Because no one is an island.
Community and fellowship inspire further genius.
You need to recognize that YOU were trusted with your life situations and YOUR children; therefore, YOU are the expert.
Perhaps your children are grown or you have none.
You are in community. You can lead.
You have the power to change the world.
Through one child, one load of laundry, one job well done, one word aptly spoken.
You are the change.
Yes, leadership has millions of examples and faces. It is diverse. Understanding. Insightful.
Just wait and see…
When was the last time you checked your vision?
If you have been following this Halloween costuming saga, here’s the point. The “plan” of the leader worked. I found myself in Target, just hours before the blessed Trunk or Treating event last year, hoping that I could get myself out of my present predicament by finding the necessary materials to throw together carefully execute a Nacho Libre costume that gave the impression that I had planned it for months.
I must be doing something right in this life, for there, before my eyes in the girls department ( not a place I frequent with any regularity), were one lone pair of turquoise tights. They were even the right size. Could it be?!?
My next stop was women’s lingerie. I was practically choking back tears of relief, when, on yet another rack, were some women’s red stretch panties! The brand? “Xhilaration”. Thus summing up what I was feeling in that particular moment.
Armed with my recent purchase, I headed home to show dubious child #5, that I, indeed was a competent, capable and fearless leader. (Never mind about the organized part.)
It was still 90 degrees that evening when the event got under way.
It is most desirable when attempting to inspire individuals ( i.e.mentees) to new heights of leadership, that they internalize the principles of personal initiation, seek out desirable mentors, and problem solve to the best of their age-appropriate ability.
Let’s just say, that judging by the above photo of THIS year’s event; those skills were definitely in place…be they good, bad or indifferent.
When you are the youngest in a large family, you have several overriding life issues that when unchecked, become dominant life goals. Being in charge would be one of them. Of pretty much anything or anyone. Attempts at this are frequently executed.
Being the center of attention is also a plus, since you are generally IN the spotlight with one or more siblings.
We live in a racially diverse community. It is also a highly agricultural area. These demographics have produced a large migrant, Hispanic-based community, within our community.
Nacho Libre is well loved. A hero. An icon, if you will. Child #5 went last year with some serious doubts and left a celebrity.
And he didn’t sweat.
It became apparent that he had been doing his homework and mulling the above mentioned leadership principles over; when the subject recently came up regarding costumes for Halloween. Suffice it to say, that we have discovered that #5 could possibly handle some form of fame. He basks in his proverbial 15 minutes of it. He recanted how much he was loved last year, and decided he’d like to be two for two in this department.
He requested of me, the mentor to this whole mess situation, that I contact one of our friends that he had seen sporting a Nacho Libre mask. This, by the way is an adult. He was wanting to borrow it, so he could be “more authentic.”
Resourceful. Full of initiative. Practically a celebrity…at least in his own mind.
One happy, tired boy reported to me as he laid his head on the pillow, “Mom, sixty-five families asked to take a picture with me tonight. I counted.” ( Those numbers could be a stretch…I DIDN’T count… and he’s eight.)
“I love this costume.” ” I’m sorry that my tights won’t fit next year.”
Success….in more ways than one.
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