August 11th, 2010
There’s no doubt about it.
This has been one of the most emotionally taxing months that I can remember…
and I’m not referring to a “day one of one month”…
to “day one of the next” scenario.
In fact…
it seems like all too recently…
I shared with you that I was emotionally spent…
and wanted to be candid and up front.
That the last thing that I ever want to convey…
is that I have somehow…
“arrived”…
Circumstantially or otherwise.
I have shared with you more than once…
that the “Hero Hubby” and I…
have worked with youth of all ages…
for over 20 years.
It has been both a privilege and an honor.
We have helped to develop some pretty amazing ones…


that will most definitely lead, move and shake their generation.


In fact…
the punks stellar young people pictured here…

were given a national honor…
thanks to the mentoring of their coach/mom!
She’s also pictured.
Last evening…
near Bishop California…
there was a tragic accident involving three vehicles.
One of the vehicles…
one of three vans full of athletes from California Baptist University…
suffered a fatality…
and serious injuries.
One of “our kids” was in that van.
She is in serious condition in a hospital in Mammoth…
to which she and others were air lifted.
She is currently stable.
I opened a discussion about tension Monday.
There have been some great contributions.
I hope that there will be more.
One of the tensions that wasn’t even on my radar…
but is currently in the forefront…
is this…
(and if you have young children…
listen up anyway…
because you WILL “get there!”)
That’s a promise.
Not a possibility.
There is the tension between young adults and parents.
It’s a healthy tension…
but often a delicate one.
You raise your kids…
Leadership Education model especially included…
to be independent…
self-sufficient…
responsible adults.
And yet…
what about the tension of naivete’…
on their part…
versus the “life experience”…
and exposure to “impossibilities”…
on yours?
Without the experience that you have…
they can’t be as mature and objective…
as they often need to be.
Because “society at large”…
sees and acknowledges them as adults.
Life is…
for the most part…
all that is delightful and good in their world.
They’re on a perpetual upswing…
for now.
You…
on the other hand…
have experienced the bittersweet balance…
that exists between what-if-I-don’t-get-that-position…
(or whatever you’d use to fill in the blank)…
and can’t provide what is needed?
Tension between idealism and reality…
and knowing how to leverage…
the relationship that you worked so tirelessly…
to cultivate with your “child-that-is-now-an-adult”…
for the ultimate good and benefit of all…
is a significant tension, for sure!
Their infallibility would normally be included somewhere in there as well.
But not today.
Or even this week.
Possibly not this month, either.
Because “our girl”, Alicia…
is lying in a hospital…
fighting a lot of things.
Both physically and mentally.
Won’t you please remember her and her family…
in your thoughts and prayers?
And Alicia…
for all the times that you went at me or Mr. Helms…
with full gusto…
and your toes-on-the-line…
the times you laugh hysterically…
even when you should have chosen silence…
the joy…
the now seemingly benign “defiance”…
that is often misplaced by zealous..
well-meaning..
up-and-coming young leaders…
could you use all of that robust energy…
and get well?
And while your at it…
know with all your heart, mind and soul…
that there is a God that loves you…
cares for you…
and miraculously spared you?
Thanks.
Oh…
and one last thing…
I don’t think I’ve told you since January…
how much I love you…
and how proud I am of you!

Now get busy, okay?
Moms, Dads, Mentors, Friends…
Brothers, Sisters…
and everyone in between…
a hug and a soft answer…
go a long way in easing negative tension…
while validating and enforcing the necessity of its presence.
By all means…
go practice!
A special thanks to my brother, Tim Driver…
who is not a biological parent…
but yet a parent-figure, friend, and extraordinary mentor to many…
including his big sister.
Thanks for leveraging tension so beautifully this afternoon…
like you always do…
and for giving me the inspiration for this blog post…
when I was grieving too deeply to do it alone.
I love you bunches.
Until Friday,

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