“Love hurts.” ~ Boudleaux Bryant
The lyrics to this song…
which really says it all in its title…
were recorded by many an artist.
First the Everly Brothers…
the rock band Nazareth…
and eventually Cher.
Being a product of the 1970′s…
in many ways…
she is quite possibly where I heard it.
Regardless of who is crooning out the lyrics…
the lyrics state it all.
And boy-howdy…
are they ever true.
I have been asked hundreds of times…
(yes, that would be literal)
why we chose to home educate…
“The Fab 5.”
While there are many reasons…
that have been sited over the years…
(and the list of them is miles long)
the one I’m sharing today…
doesn’t come to the forefront…
as a solid expression that often.
It is, rather…
implied lots of the time.
But now is a very appropriate time…
for it to be shared.
Shortly…
I, along with Sons #3-5…
will be boarding a plane…
for Seattle…
in order to tie up…
the remaining loose ends…
where my brother’s passing are concerned.
I will go to his house…
clear out the last of his personal possessions…
file paperwork at the DMV…
make decisions…
attend meetings…
and meet with friends.
Some of them are new…
still others are nearly lifelong.
It’s not something…
that I’m particularly looking forward to…
and yet, it simply must be done.
There is a tremendous amount of life…
that is compartmentalized in our country.
Birth…
death…
education…
and specific and “relevant” age groupings…
depending on activities.
One of the things I genuinely cherish…
about our home educating experience…
is the cohesiveness to life that it has afforded.
My kids don’t have a normal peer group.
They can have a conversation with a 4-year-old…
and just as effortlessly…
engage someone who’s 84!
Yes, I know people from all educational backgrounds…
that can do the same.
My point is…
we have had the privilege of viewing…
both our triumphs as well as our trials…
together in this family…
minus compartments!
I’m a church-going individual…
lover of Jesus…
retired Pastor’s kid.
Most of you know that.
Today in church…
I was privileged with great encouragement…
via Shawn Manley.
He reminded us…
that in Hellenistic Greek…
there are 4 kinds of love.
Two pertain to this post.
Philia…
which includes loyalty to friends..
family and community…
who have similar values to your own.
And Agape…
which is complete…
unconditional love.
It exhibits the highest form of resolve.
Regardless…
every kind of love involves a choice.
I want my kids to witness first hand…
the value that their uncle placed on people…
over accumulating personal things.
I want them to know…
that quite often…
personal choice…
as well as genuine love for others…
involves…
persevering through really tough things.
But that even really difficult…
painful circumstances and situations…
afford opportunities…
for tremendous life lessons…
as well as personal growth.
My dear friend, Cyndi Hake-Castro…
stated my situation well.
“The only way out…is through. Any time we are running or hiding from something, it has power and authority over us. If we are afraid of something then we will always be afraid of it. I’m in the process of confronting and walking through! Not giving up!”
When looking at the less-than-desirable circumstances…
that will soon be in my present…
it would be easy to compartmentalize…
my children…
the situations…
and stuff.
But life is often messy.
And the best teacher by far…
is personal example.
My brother, Tim…
was a tremendous example…
both in the Philia…
and Agape Love departments.
I desire for my children to see…
that pain is no respecter of persons…
that it needs to be dealt with…
that crying and grieving…
go hand-in-hand…
with living and celebrating…
every life well-lived…
and that ideally…
these examples…
are learned and observed first…
within a family.
Because when inevitabilities…
within the journey of life strike…
in the end…
the lessons modeled and learned…
are powerful…
when they involve…
the merits of love.
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