This week, schools observed Monday as a holiday in tribute to Civil Rights Movement leader, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.  I had the honor and privilege of attending a basketball tournament at the University of Washington, Hec Edmundson Pavilion where the memory of my brother, Tim was being honored.  He worked this annual tournament on behalf of youth.  I thought it fitting to finish out the week with his thoughts that also honor a tremendous woman who served to spark the beginnings of this movement.

Take a stand!

That is what most people think of when confronted with injustice and prejudice.

Rosa Parks took a seat.

By doing so, she ignited what proved to be the momentum to propel the civil rights movement to the front of American consciousness and to secure it’s rightful place in history.

By refusing to follow a bus company rule that she give her seat to a white rider, Ms. Parks defied over 100 years of racism in the south without lifting so much as a finger.

The beauty of the defiance was its peaceful nature.

In this day and age where ecoterrorists destroy buildings or protesters resort to violent tactics, Rosa Parks personified peace.

This caught the attention of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. ,who himself preached protest through non-violence, and made Montgomery, Alabama the stage for the performance of demanding equality.

What few were expecting was the fortitude of the people of color to inconvenience themselves by walking everywhere, leaving the bus company with huge losses.

This forced them to change their policy regarding people of color.

Never to this point had any attempt at equality been given a nod of approval by any white government, business, or social organization.

It wasn’t until a non-threatening woman of color delivered what proved to be a knock out blow to Alabama racism.

Granted, change did not happen overnight, but then again, lasting change rarely does.

She propelled the movement which later demanded integrated schools, businesses, and marched on Washington D.C. to demand legislation for equality.

Had this woman pushed and shoved her way to get what she wanted, or succumbed to what must have been terrifying threats of violence and ridicule, perhaps change would have been much longer in its arrival.

Yet she showed the courage that few had to this point- simply by taking a seat.

I had the honor of hearing Ms. Parks speaks in my home town, a few years before her death.

She was as humble and unassuming then is she was in the 1950′s.

Make no mistake however- she was still every bit as resolute about her purpose.

For that, people of all color owe her an incredible debt of gratitude and respect.

A bestowing of a coin or stamp should be an automatic for such a fine American and civil rights champion.

Best,

Tim

This Friday, Dr. Shanon Brooks will be speaking in Indio, CA., on principles that are timely and much needed regarding our country and our responsibility to it.  Won’t you join us?  Admission is free.  For details, click here.

Today, Tim Driver continues on the topics of self esteem and entitlement.  He refers to yet another article that is a current news piece, which you will find beneficial. ~ TommyMom

On Monday I referred to a study that showed kids have overdosed on self-esteem.

My criticism is not about self-esteem specifically…

just self-esteem that is not based on anything worth feeling pride about.

Self-esteem has replaced some other terms that are more accurate and specific.

Terms like self-respect, dignity, and self-pride (the right kind) have all but been replaced.

Instead it seems to be more about self-promotion, self-importance, and selfishness, whether one has earned respect or not.

This article summarizes many of the issues our society keeps perpetuating.

If you don’t want to look at it right now, allow me to summarize.

A high school in New Jersey is paying 66 kids $100 each to attend school for the first 3 weeks.

Wow.

Here are just a few of the things that come to mind…

and trust me, they have come to the minds of the kids as well!

What happens when you take the money away?

School is not worth attending for the merits of knowledge…

so we have to bribe kids to go.

What about the kids who have had perfect attendance for years, but are not part of the chosen 66?

What levels of resentment will kids have toward those 66?

What other things could that 6600 dollars have gone toward buying?

What level of expectation/entitlement does this set for future semesters, and classes of kids?

These are just a few of the things that come to mind.

Philosophically, this is an absolute train wreck.

Bribery does not work on at-risk personalities.

It doesn’t work on many other personality types either.

It’s insulting.

It takes the dignity, pride, and effort components completely away from the learning and life process.

These sorts of messages are why citizens feel the government owes them.

As I mentioned Wednesday, it creates an atmosphere of dependency, rather than independence.

Last time I checked…

our founding document was not the Declaration of DEPENDENCE.

I have decided that a book of some sort is in order for ways bring back the proper educational priorities.

In the meantime…

I can say that TJED offers a path for kids to reach self-reliance and independent thought and action.

Bravo.

I was not paid for this endorsement! :0)

Best
Tim

Dr. Shanon Brooks is currently in Southern California on a ReValue America tour.  He will be coming to Indio, Friday, September 16th. Click here for details.  Admission is free.  Come one, come all, bring family, friends, and neighbors!

Tim Driver is the principal of Insight High School for Washington state. He has also done notable work in the field of At-Risk Youth.  He has coached athletics at the high school level for over 20 years, is a published author, and the punk brother of TommyMom. He is a regular contributor to our community here.  For that, we are grateful.  He is pictured here in an uber-retro shot with Sons #1-#3.

For this post, it is most beneficial to read the link referenced in Mr. Driver’s first sentence.

A recent study confirms what I have believed all along.

Self esteem is earned, not granted.

I don’t know if it started when every player on every team received a trophy,

or when some schools did away with grades for fear of hurting anyone’s feelings.

Maybe it was neither.

I have no desire to rip the plastic hardware away from a clutching little leaguer.

Rather, it is the philosophy and common themes of adult behavior that are to blame for the generation of entitlement we are experiencing.

Allow for a few snapshot examples:

The aforementioned survey cited that 75% of kids think they will be in the top 20% academically.

Hmmm. Perhaps another math course might be helpful for those that don’t see a problem with that.

Especially when studies show that kids complete less homework overall than their counterparts of the 1970’s.

How much homework gets completed is the furthest issue from the real point.

Kids want better results with less effort.

A recruiting manager for Boeing told me that his sole job is to recruit engineers; one of the more educated professions in our society.

He recently had to undergo training for situations…

where the parents of these engineering candidates…

would either come to interviews with the candidates…

or call to complain when their child didn’t get the position.

Perhaps Boeing should just post Matthew 22:14  on the wall and websites and be done with it.

(“Many are called, but few are chosen.”)

This is another example where people want the rewards to be realized but the qualifications to be ignored.

Lack of qualifications are the bulk of the reason for the recent housing crisis.

Fannie Mae and Freddy Mac were created as a solution for people who in many cases…

would not qualify for home ownership the traditional way.

The government wanted people to experience home ownership, even if they didn’t really financially qualify.

Hmmmm…and when that collapsed we shook our heads?

Are you sensing a pattern?

For years psychologists, schools, government, and some parents have subscribed to the notion that any praise, even false in nature, will benefit the psyche of our kids.

NOT SO.

A huge longitudinal study out of New Zealand…

with a sample group of over 200 million students in every major country and 48 out of the 50 states in the U.S. …

showed that “general praise” actually lessened overall student achievement and motivation to succeed.

Conclusion?

Kids know when we’re blowing smoke.

So do adults.

The same study showed that praise that was aimed at specific behaviors and accomplishments however…

had a significant positive effect on motivation and increased success.

Sometimes, in some circumstances, kids have not done anything that they should be proud of or praised for.

In fact, sometimes we should point out where they have fallen short in loving ways…

so that they have a road map as to how to get back on the path to successful habits.

Blowing smoke only makes them more dependent on others.

This is not to suggest that we should be critical fault finders…

just honest realists.

If Suzie doesn’t get an “A”, it doesn’t make her a bad kid, or even a bad student.

It just means if she really wants that “A”, she will have to change her strategy and behaviors to get it.

Criticizing the teacher or blaming a school is not the answer.

Studying the habits of those who receive “A’s”, is a much better use of time.

Overall, kids need encouragement, and recognition of effort…even when the results are not the highest or most desired.

What they don’t need is an inflated, false view of themselves that leads to entitlement, long-term dependence, and blaming behaviors.

Hopefully this will save you a trip to your son or daughter’s next engineering interview.

Next post, I will point out how some folks still don’t get it.

Best,
Tim