Is Failure a Friend?

photo courtesy of Expert Image Group

Admit it.

Even after all of these years…

there’s a little glitch in your breath…

a sweaty pallor to your brow…

tingling and/or itching…

in your feet.

The big red letter “F”…

accompanied by the message…

to “See Me After Class”…

somehow misses the mark…

of making the hospitality wagon.

So many times in my life…

regardless of whether my team lost…

I missed a goal set…

my leadership was less than motivating…

I have had to face the fact…

that I failed.

When failure involves a specific passion…

which could include any number…

of life skills, vocations, or even hobbies…

it just flat out hurts.

Yet, it is inevitable.

When we throw kids…

education…

and the molding and shaping…

of these two things combined…

one, at times, wishes…

for an “Opt Out” button.

Add the passion…

genuine concern…

and emotion that exudes…

from well-meaning…

family and friends…

and life as we know it…

can simply be grand!

Years ago…

I read “Failing Forward”

by John Maxwell.

While it is very motivational in style…

he points out quite effectively…

what separates certain individuals from others.

It’s simple…

but most definitely not easy.

Ready?

Those who embrace failure…

are effective.

I guess the stars aligned for me…

regarding this particular subject…

because I was struggling…

with measurable results…

where my kids were concerned…

that would somehow prove to others…

I wasn’t a failure…

as a mentor…

and a mother.

But that’s elusive…

because it’s a lie!

I have failed thousands of times.

And I will fail thousands more.

I’ve failed to provide a perfect atmosphere…

and environment at all times…

in which to be both inspired…

and to expand in knowledge and wisdom.

Shoot, there were days…

where I felt like Queen of the World…

if I cleaned the PB & J remnants up…

from the lunch table before starting dinner!

In fact a bulldozer…

a priest…

a canoe and three camels…

would’ve helped…

in excavating my way…

from one end of my house…

to the other!

Right about that time…

of course…

at my local co-op…

or on aisle 13 of the grocery store…

I would run into Frank or Fran Fail less.

You know them, too.

Their team has “never lost”…

(at least not in a visible or traceable form)…

their house practically cleans itself…

and their kids/students ace the SATS…

with 1700s each and every time…

they undertake them.

It’s enough to keep those of us…

that follow and teach…

principles of leadership…

with very little immediate gratification…

up several nights a year.

Yes, that too…

has been a personal experience.

May I encourage you today…

to make it a goal…

to embrace failure?

Because when you do…

and do so wholeheartedly…

it has so very many things…

to teach.

It’s not something to fear.

( This too takes practice to overcome…

and I’m still working on it daily.)

Rather…

the idea that we shall remain the same…

should be what terrifies.

Life is the lesson.

And many of the best ones…

are riddled with failure.

Still trying…

to wrap your mind around it?

Let’s ask Abe.

 

1831 – Lost his job

1832 – Defeated in run for Illinois State Legislature

1833 – Failed in business

1834 – Elected to Illinois State Legislature (success)

1835 – Sweetheart died

1836 – Had nervous breakdown

1838 – Defeated in run for Illinois House Speaker

1843 – Defeated in run for nomination for U.S. Congress

1846 – Elected to Congress (success)

1848 – Lost re-nomination

1849 – Rejected for land officer position

1854 – Defeated in run for U.S. Senate

1856 – Defeated in run for nomination for Vice President

1858 – Again defeated in run for U.S. Senate

1860 – Elected President (success)

 

Amidst the failure.

Success is present.

And I’m inclined to think…

that in this particular case…

they’re rather large ones!

Friday…

I have a personal one to share.

It is so fresh…

that the lessons…

are still making themselves evident.

I’m looking  forward to it!
TeriSig

Presidential Wisdom

“Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence.”

“Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.”

“Firearms are second only to the Constitution in importance; they are the peoples’ liberty’s teeth.”

“All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.”

“Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other.”  (more on this thought Wednesday.)

“America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves.”

 

Truly great men with tremendous wisdom; yet they were individuals just like us.  May we honor their legacy with ours.
TeriSig

 

He’s 12 And In a Relationship!

The winner of the Hurraw! chapstick trio is Morgan Knudsen!  Congratulations, Morgan!  While I know you, along with others of your peers, folded like a cheap deck of cards and purchased lip balms; nevertheless, you have three more luscious, lovely lip balms coming your way, sister!  Thanks again to Neil at Hurraw! for his incredible hospitality to TommyMom. Perhaps he shall pass this way again, readers.  In the meantime, I still maintain that you will not regret a relationship with this company and its product. ~ Teri ;0)

“To acquire the habit of reading is to construct for yourself a refuge from almost all of the miseries of life.”

~William Somerset Maugham

photo courtesy of Art of Subtlety

This week…

when we have celebrated…

people…

in love…

and relationships…

that surround us…

this kid came to me…

with “the look.”

I’ve seen it before.

And I never

ever tire of it.

In fact…

it energizes…

motivates…

and deeply moves me.

I felt his hand on my shoulder.

“Um, Mom?”

“Yeah, buddy.  What’s up?”

I turned to look into star struck eyes…

that were full of a combination…

of satisfaction…

adventure…

and pride.

“I just finished my first complete book series,”

he whispered.

And so the magic begins.

He’s read for a long time…

but connection is finally present.

With example…

guidance…

and lots and lots of patience…

he has turned the key…

and opened the door…

into a life-long adventure…

with books.

How do I know for sure?

I’ve already told you.

It’s a connection…

that is sacred really.

You almost feel as if you’re intruding.

His series?

“Did you simply love it?”

I asked him…

while trying to conceal a portion of my zeal.

He laughed shyly.

“Well, yeah, I did.

I’m trying to figure out…

what I want to read next.”

He said this…

as he was replacing book #13.

Bingo.

I waited to hear his verdict.

It took him awhile.

“I think I’ll try Treasure Island,”

he says with a different kind of grin…

plastered on his face.

It’s one of anticipation…

coupled with excitement…

and slight apprehension…

that perhaps he’s over his head.

He isn’t.

Why?

Because good things…

make that excellent things…

come to those who wait.

And cultivate.

With patience.

Patience…

that trumps fear…

and anxiety…

and cultural norms and expectations…

to “keep up.”

“Be the best.”

“Top your peers.”

Instead..

he’s savoring at times…

while beginning to devour at others.

This evening…

we were having yogurt together…

at our family’s favorite shop.

Seated across from me…

he says…

“I have already reached…

and passed…

an amazing part, Mom.”

“Tell me about it.”

He looks up…

incredulous.

“What?! And spoil the book for you?!”

“Buddy…

I’ve read it.”

( Hint: One of the most powerful components…

to mentoring well….

is the fact that you’ve experienced it…

or been there.)

He leans over and whispers…

“Then you know what I’m talking about.

It’s the part where he drags his mother under the bridge…

because she’s fainted from running!

Oh!, and he did this while it was snowing!”

It’s been a long time.

I’d like to discuss…

and do it well.

Can you say…

Hello, Treasure Island?!

I’m certain I won’t be disappointed.,.

because I, too, am committed to relationships.

It’s high time this friend and I got reacquainted.

How about you?

What are you pursuing in the literary world?

Care to share?

A favorite series?

There very well could be…

another prize on the line.

Just sayin’!

May your weekend…

be graced with many pages…

and the lessons therein…

enhance your relationships!
TeriSig

Just in Case You Didn’t Get Around to It…

There are three things…

to which I will call your attention…

yet again.

1.  If you live in Southern California, the FATJEF is fast approaching, on Saturday, March 3, 2012.  It will be held in Rancho Cucamonga at the Goldy S. Lewis Center.

Go to this website, download your registrations (under the same name in the top bar) and send them in pronto!  The schedule for the day is under Schedule 2012 on the right, and under the speaker pull down (again, in the top bar) is where you will find details for each break out.  There is a concurrent Youth Forum led by Dan Ralphs.  Dr. Shanon Brooks will present TJEd tracks throughout the day.  It is an excellent opportunity to be inspired and refreshed.  Lunch is included in your registration, providing you register ahead.

2.  Tonight: Monticello College Information Webinar
Date:    Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Time:    7:30 PM – 8:30 PM MST
“We offer real leadership training in an environment that requires each student and mentor to continually reevaluate themselves and what they hope to contribute to society. The campus environment instills leadership qualities such as cooperation, hard work, problem-solving, personal fortitude and reliance on a higher power. Our day-to-day campus life is filled with campus duties for all-hands, plenty of academic rigor, and physical challenges that leave students confident, self-assured, and invigorated.”

https://www3.gotomeeting.com/register/942466478

It is never too early to invest in the academic future of your children.  Dr. Brooks is putting together a fantastic campus. Go to the above link to reserve your seat in this webinar.  You won’t regret the investment of your time.

3.  And the last Hurraw!..If you haven’t left a comment in order for a chance to win this phenomenal chapstick trio, do it now!  The lips you save may be your own! A lucky winner will be chosen Friday.  Come back then for more love!
TeriSig


Hurraw!: A Valentine Giveaway

Dear Readers,

I LOVE and APPRECIATE you.

And to prove it…

I have a giveaway in honor of St. Valentine!

It is my pleasure to introduce to you…

Hurraw!

My darling friend, Jenna…

did the introductions for me…

and it is a match made in heaven!

The boys think so, too.

I dialed Neil at the Hurraw! office…

and explained what I wanted to do.

They were as personable to speak with…

as they were on my invoice.

I love that they won’t compromise…

their values…

their product…

or their service!

Please read on.

They give a lot of food for thought.

My personal ones are in pink.

Hope you win!

About Hurraw!
Hurraw! Balm lives in Whitefish, Montana;  a tiny ski town nestled among the amazing peaks of Glacier National Park.  We started out of pure intent; a personal obsession to create the perfect balm: all natural, vegan, made from premium raw, organic and fair trade ingredients…complete with a bunch of natural and fun flavor options!  It also had to meet some tough criteria…

Criteria:

Super smooth, not draggy, not sticky, not sweet, not too glossy, not too smelly, never grainy, long lasting;  plus, it had to hold up to being in a back jeans pocket all day without melting! It took us several obsessed years to formulate Hurraw! Balm and put it through all the rigors.  We love it, use it, and hope you do too!

Why Hurraw! is unique:

We hand mix and individually pour each tube of Hurraw! Balm.  We truly care about the quality and integrity of our product and feel Hurraw! is the finest all natural, vegan, raw balm available…a great product to be used by everyone regardless of lifestyle or eating habits!
Sourcing honest, fair trade, organic, vegan and raw ingredients from reputable suppliers was difficult at best.  We finally did it and we are thrilled to share the labors of our hard work with other balm lovin’ individuals.  Your purchase supports legit fair trade, organic farmers and suppliers here in the States and around the World. Thank you!

Vegan:
Hurraw! Balm is a Certified Vegan product!  ‘Vegan’ means no animal products (ie: beeswax) are included in our product.  We are proud to also be CCIC approved.  The CCIC provides the leaping bunny logo which assures our cruelty free standards  (no animals are used/harmed/tested on in any stage of the manufacture of our product, including our suppliers).

Raw:
Hurraw! Balm contains certified organic, raw, cold pressed and centrifuged extracted, nut/seed oils and butters that have been processed below 118F degrees and are still chocked full of their essential nutrients and enzymes.  Although more expensive, the quality of raw oils and butters is superb and you’ll feel the difference!
We gently warm our oils and butters seperate from our candelilla wax (which melts at 155F).   We combine them at a high speed which keeps the overall temperature low and also why you might get a lucky tube with a few tiny air bubbles on top!  We hand pour them into our custom made tube cooling trays (yeah, we are a lil’ obsessed :) … your lips will be stoked! This isn’t hype, but rather, gospel truth.

Organic:
Hurraw! Balm contains certified organic ingredients, if you would like our supplier certificates, please contact us.  We choose not to use the USDA Organic Seal on our product until:
1.) The USDA and FDA can define and legitimate the National Organic Program guidelines for the cosmetic industry and make it a viable option for small companies.
2.) The USDA must designate and enforce humane and sanitary methods of treatment for animals raised for food (factory farms), leather, and other commercial practices.
It’s hard for us to support and promote the seal of an agency that doesn’t make this a priority and we look forward to the day when it does.

Gluten Free, No GMO’s, Kosher:
Hurraw! balm is Gluten Free.  Our ingredients contain no GMO’s and all are certified Kosher Parve.

Non toxic:
No petroleum, preservatives, artificial flavors or colors.  Did you know the shine in many lipsticks and glosses come from petroleum jelly (a bi-product of oil drilling linked to many health problems including cancer).  A recent statistic showed that over the course of a decade regular users of lip products containing petroleum, can end up ingesting seven pounds of the stuff…essentially it’s like drinking gasoline. Ugh.  (source: www.doctoroz.com) Scary.

Our Core Ingredients:
almond oil:  Our 100% natural almond oil is pressed in California at a family-run mill from raw almond kernels.  It comes direct to us right after pressing, allowing it to be super fresh and exceptionally rich in nourishing fatty acids. Great for your lips; almond oil moisturizes, softens, soothes, and re-conditions them superbly.

coconut oil:  We use a raw, organic, fair trade coconut oil direct from Mexico (less travel=less pollution) that has been extracted using a centrifuged method. This method gently separates fresh coconuts and allows a pure raw oil to be obtained. The result is amazing. Coconut oil is a fabulous moisturizer, a great free radical buster and super soothing for chronic lip inflammation.

cacao butter: Our natural sourced, equitable trade cacao butter is pressed from the organic raw seeds of the cacao tree. Our rich, certified raw butter comes direct to us from small farmer owned lands in Bali.  It will nourish, soften, soothe and moisturize your lips. Cacao butter not only improves skin elasticity but smells oh so divine.

jojoba oil: Our organic jojoba oil is obtained farmer direct after being cold pressed in Arizona from simmondsia chinensis beans and is actually a “liquid wax.”  Jojoba oil’s properties are very similar to our skin’s own, allowing it to be a deeply absorbed, wonderful moisturizer for the lips.

olive oil: Cold pressed from a fruit and used for over 5000 years…no doubt olive oil is amazing!  Our Californian grown olive oil is rich in antioxidants, vitamins A & E; natural squalene properties moisturize, repair and protect your lips.

castor oil:  A natural emollient from India, our organic, cold pressed, hexane free castor oil makes an excellent protective barrier against harsh conditions. Anti-inflammatory, healing, very soothing and deeply absorbed, it will help your lips stay soft and supple.

candelilla wax:  We use a very high quality candelilla wax that is sustainably wildcrafted from candelilla plants in Mexico. We combine this fabulous wax with our raw / cold pressed oils and butters to provide an excellent long lasting protective shield for your lips.
flavors:  All of the flavors we use in our balms are derived from 100% natural sources.  Most come from pure essential oils, the others (Rootbeer, Chai Spice, Chocolate, Green Tea, Black Cherry) are made for us from 100% natural, organically derived flavor compounds through various processes of distillation and extraction. The smells are simply divine!

Infuse:

We make Hurraw! Balm in small, fresh, handcrafted batches. This allows us to infuse our balms with raw seeds, pods, fruit zests, barks and roots for flavor and natural color! It’s not a quick process but we think it makes a better balm!  Oh, and those little black specks in the vanilla balm are real vanilla bean seeds. Yum!

Oval Tube:

Hurraw! Balm comes in an oval tube for one main reason: so it doesn’t escape from the back jeans pocket like our round tubes used to…we also really love applying Hurraw! “ovally!” People comment on the oval, while my boys think they’re cool for carrying it!

Recyclable?

Being an environmentally conscious company is important to us.  Our office uses 100% recycled paper to print on.  Our wholesale packs are made from 100% post-consumer paperboard and we ship in recycled and recyclable corrugated packaging.
Our oval tubes are recyclable #5 plastic.  We realize #5 is a tough one at times to recycle locally.  Please check with your local recycling center about recycling #5 plastics and if they don’t recycle #5, encourage them to do so!
Did you know that almost all screw on plastic bottle caps and prescription bottles are #5 plastic?  There is a huge amount of #5 circulating and a big need for its recycling.  Preserve’s “Gimme 5″ program is awesome and they are making it easier then ever to recycle #5.  Check out this link for a location near you!  http://www.preserveproducts.com/recycling/gimme5locations.html

SPF balm?

Yes! We just launched the Sun & Moon Balms.  Over-the-moon about it, and shortly, “Here Comes the Sun!”

These are our brand new treatment balms and they are packed with tons of great ingredients for your lips!

Shelf Life:

Cold pressed (raw) oils and butters are room temperature stable but do have a shorter shelf life than oils that are exposed to high heat when processed. Our balms are made without any artificial preservatives and in small fresh batches.  We recommend using your tube of Hurraw! Balm within a year of purchase and storing it between 40-80F (4-27C).

Gift?
First of all, thank you for wanting to gift Hurraw! Balms.  We send our balms wrapped in a cotton tea bag and cute brown paper with gift messages at no extra charge (and there is no limit to gifting :)   In the notes section of your order, just let us know what you would like us to say to the lucky receiver.

And if they have something encouraging to say to you…they’ll write it on your invoice! Love it!

Tea Bag?

That little pouch your balm came in (if purchased direct from our site) is a reusable, unbleached cotton tea bag made here in the States from US grown cotton. Fill ‘er up with herbs and steep some goodness!
p.s. The dye we use to stamp our tea bags is food safe and permanent. If you look at my invoice closely, and realize that they come packaged in groups of 3, you will also realize that it’s time for tea over here! Woo-HOO!

Leave a comment (or three) and Friday, one lucky reader will “feel the love” with a 3 pack from Hurraw!

Flavors? Mint, Cherry and Chocolate.

Very Valentine-esque!

XOXO,
TeriSig

Beautiful and Profound Paradoxes, 2

“There really is humor in everything.” ~ Tim Driver

Have you ever noticed…

that there are huge paradoxes…

in so many situations…

that we are afforded in this life?

For example…

what we fear most…

can often…

in the end…

not only afford us tremendous peace…

but also give us greater strength…

deeper understanding…

and a higher resolve.

There can also be…

great opportunities….

hidden as rewards…

when you choose to power through…

as opposed to practicing avoidance.

These observations were reality…

where cleaning my brother’s things…

from his house…

were concerned.

While I had 3 of my boys along…

I knew I needed more help.

Spencer Ruf…

was an individual…

my brother, Tim…

mentioned often.

Yet, until Tim’s passing…

we had never personally met.

Spencer played football for Tim…

and was on the Newport team…

that won the state championship.

Now with a young family of his own…

he sought me out…

after Tim’s memorial…

and asked if there was anything at all…

he could do to help.

While I felt that this was…

an incredibly kind gesture…

I was overwhelmed with similar offers.

Spencer didn’t let it drop.

He contacted me regularly…

asking how I was…

what he could do…

and reiterated…

that it would be a privilege…

to be included…

through some task…

or menial act.

An act that for him…

demonstrated…

respect, love and gratitude…

for the things…

he feels my brother has done for him.

In fact…

he sent me an incredible e-mail…

detailing those things…

that perhaps…

at some point…

he will allow me to share.

It is powerful and beautiful.

I trusted my brother implicitly.

If anything were to happen…

to Hero Hubby and myself…

he was to receive full guardianship…

of our children.

I have always known…

since the onset…

of these horrific events…

that if my brother trusted someone…

then I could, too.

As I was mulling this seemingly arduous task…

over in my head yet again…

Spencer was there…

reinforcing…

that it would be both an honor…

and privilege.

I took him up on it.

While this was…

only Snowmaggedon, Day #2…

as we got started…

it most definitely…

began coming down…

with purpose and intent.

As I crept toward the house…

both physically and emotionally…

I received a text.

“Out in front of the house.

(In case you are inside.)”

I wasn’t.

When I called in response…

he asked if I would like him…

to go ahead and get started.

It struck me…

that he was ready, willing…

and clearly able…

to walk through…

whatever we were going to find…

and he was going to do…

whatever it took…

to be strong and helpful…

while doing it.

When I arrived…

he was already sorting boxes…

and laying things out.

My brother didn’t disappoint.

Always a minimalist…

he had very little…

for us to go through.

In fact…

most Americans…

would’ve looked at what was there…

and never guessed…

that it was supposed…

to represent 46 years…

of someone’s life.

Tim, from boyhood…

had earnestly been…

about others.

He had this almost inborn…

sense of obligation towards…

his fellow man…

from the time I could remember.

It definitely showed now.

In retrospect…

I can tell you…

that a definite measure…

of how well…

an individual knew or knows another…

is clearly observed…

by working alongside them…

in a situation such as this!

I chose well.

Spencer knew Tim intimately.

But more importantly…

he prioritized…

categorized…

and even anticipated…

what we would find next…

with an accuracy…

that made me more than comfortable.

Isn’t it funny…

in a sad sort of way…

how we measure accomplishment…

whether unintentionally or not…

through tangible means?

Behold but a tiny smattering…

of football videos.

There. were. MANY!

And yet…

I was struck by how inadequately…

they represented…

my brother’s coaching legacy…

the hours invested…

the faith exhibited…

the care, concern and love given.

That

simply can’t be measured.

Just the day before…

I stood in a vast pavilion…

honoring that legacy…

in a different sport.

And yet…

how often do each of us despair…

when tangible results…

aren’t evident…

where seemingly endless efforts…

are concerned?

Son #3: “Check this out, Mom!

Two incredible classics in literature…

with a DVD entitled ‘The Best of the 3 Stooges’…

sandwiched in between!”

Once the initial ice was broken…

Spencer and I chimed in with him…

laughing hysterically at treasures we would find…

that so clearly represented his mantra of humor in all things.

Notes from students that made you laugh, cry…

and contemplate the obvious influence.

Copious football and basketball plays…

diagrammed on everything from notepads to napkins.

Precious pictures…

of children belonging to both family and friends.

Shoes.

Lots of athletic shoes.

When we took breaks…

we would set one another up…

with jokes…

using things we found…

all in the spirit of even more laughter.

I came across his “Teacher of the Year” medal…

which I never until that moment…

knew he had received.

One of his Masters diplomas…

was in a box…

still in the postal service mailer!

Meanwhile…

it was really starting to snow!

“Spencer, you should probably go.”

“I’m great…

and we’re not finished yet.”

Seemingly small things…

that were developed on the 50…

the 20…

the 10…

in practice…

drills…

and adversity…

showed clearly…

in Spencer…

the individual my brother…

had poured himself into.

Dedication…

devotion…

resolve…

relationship…

and teamwork.

And just as quickly…

it was nearly over.

Two hours…

and 45 minutes…

start to finish that day.

“Oh.my.WORD!

This is hideous.

No, scary!”

Spencer had come across this:

The first ever “Angry Bird”…

posing as my grandmother’s antique pitcher.

We agreed everyone’s grandma had owned one…

while the boys roared.

My mother is most relieved…

to have it back…

and we’re left wondering how Tim got it.

In the end…

this was the sum total…

of what I shipped home.

What I left…

was a new personal lifelong friend.

There’s a situation in the Bible…

where the disciples of Jesus…

are having a very heated discussion.

They finally broke down…

and asked Him flat out…

who would be the greatest in His kingdom.

Over 2,000 years later…

I respectfully submit…

that mankind still struggles with Jesus’s answer.

“If you would be great…

than learn to be the servant of all.”

Now there’s a paradox…

by anyone’s standard…

in today’s world.

My brother both mastered…

and owned it.

Imagine what the world would be like…

if we all did.
TeriSig

“Smart Donkey”

Have you ever noticed…

that at times…

God simply knows…

when you need a rest…

and perhaps aren’t quite smart enough…

to realize this truth yourself?

I’m going a smidge out of order here…

saving the heavier lessons and thoughts…

for Friday.

Either way…

there’s snow involved.

Lots and lots and lots of it!

I’m talking…

“Hello, Seattle…

home-of-my-childhood…

I-love-your-new-look…

lots of it!”

Here’s Snow Day #2…

complete with outfitting…

and gear…

compliments of our dear friends…

Cathy and Dave Brown.

Cathy’s dad ran the Salvation Army Camp…

in Malibu…

for 30+ years.

She came to work for Hero Hubby’s dad one summer…

where I was working as well…

in Washington.

We roomed together…

and have pretty much been BFFs since.

Her knowledge and passion of and for…

the game of football…

is honestly unrivaled…

in any other woman I have ever met.

This made she and my brother…

(who was like another brother to her)…

BFFs during the season.

And into the playoffs.

And on Superbowl Sunday.

And during the training season.

And draft season.

You get the often grotesque picture.

From most women’s points of view…

it simply isn’t pretty.

This is Dave…

who is also wonderful.

And in this particular shot…

he is thrilled with his near-daily…

but-most-certainly weekly…

deliveries from Amazon.

On Snow Day #2…

this was still possible…

in spite of the fact that his particular BOEING plant…

was shut down…

and he was working from home.

Behold the children:

They get along famously.

With one biological cousin visiting…

and my own who are adopted as family…

it was like a huge, spontaneous vacation.

Couple that with dozens of families…

who were out sledding…

snowballing…

and having fun…

on a hill nicknamed…

“The Widowmaker”…

not pictured here…

because it was simply too steep…

and day #2 of Snowmaggedon…

was a hit.

They played for hours…

while the 3 smarter…

and wiser “Old People”…

walked home.

Okay…

after I stopped to take a picture of my own feet…

which were without feeling for nearly 15 minutes…

by the time I reached my destination.

It.was.cold.

Which proved to be nothing…

but a “warm up”…

for Snow day #3.

It began…

(and continued, by the way)…

with a major power outage.

For over 30,000 people to be exact.

School was definitely out of the question…

including both public and private universities.

Finals week was theoretically in session…

but definitely postponed for high schoolers.

And we were one of the lucky losers.

Of power, that is.

Have I mentioned it was cold?

And the Hero Hubby was now officially stranded in San Francisco…

hoping for a flight…

so he could join us…

with over 80 currently canceled.

Have you ever noticed…

how very little of our current way…

of American life…

is conducive to the family?

Dr. Oliver DeMille…

once gave an extremely…

thought provoking lecture…

on the tribal/agrarian model of life.

This model involves doing less stuff…

at the right time…

in order to bolster true results.

Our calendar is designed around…

the fundamental needs of the marketplace.

If you look at tribal cultures…

significance begins at sundown.

This is the time for rest…

and the most important part…

of the day.

In evenings…

people would bond.

Currently in our culture…

we just “flip on the lights”…

so that we can continue the work day.

We can produce entertainment and recreation…

that often distracts us from bonding.

We can also be somewhat uncomfortable…

until we really get going at this nearly lost art.

But today…

we didn’t have much of a choice.

Throw another log on the fireplace…

hunker down under blankets…

and let poor Zoe in!

Son #3…

“Mom, Aunt Cathy wants us to play Smart Donkey.

Will you join us?”

Upon returning downstairs…

to the one room with heat…

coming from the fireplace…

this is what I found.

And slight correction…

we were preparing to play…

this game:

Son #3 whispered to me…

“I didn’t want to say the, you know, word.”

Cathy was the “boss of the planet”…

which was good…

as she and I tend to take turns…

in our friendship acting in that role.

She ditched the board…

and you had to shout out your answer…

as she read the trivia…

from 1 of the 4 decks.

She mostly stuck with “Who Am I?”

Home educators..

always sweat…

during these types of random…

spontaneous events.

What if our kids are “Dumb Donkeys”…

rather than “Smart Ones?”

Gulp.

Cathy: “I am an entertainer.

I was born in California in 1946.

I was in the movie The Witches of Eastwick.

I am also the high priestess of glam rock.

Me: “CHER!”

Cathy: “Geez, I wondered what was taking you so long.”

The kids think we’re both weird.

C: “I am a T.V. character.

Carroll Spinney plays me.

My voice was copied from that of a Bronx cabbie.

I am green.”

Me: “OSCAR THE GROUCH!”

The kids are pretty incredulous…

as am I.

I’m beginning to see a sad, sorry pattern here.

C: “I am a British statesman and author.

My father was British and my mother was American.

I won a Nobel Prize in Literature.”

Son #3: “WINSTON CHURCHILL!”

C: “I am a singer and songwriter.

I was born in Michigan in 1950.

I was one of the first performers to use electronic music.

I recorded “Fingertips,” my first big hit, at age 12.

I went on to win over 20 Grammys.”

Son #5: “STEVIE WONDER!”

What the heck?!?

C: “I am a 20th century world leader.

I studied law at University College in London.

I became a member of the London Vegetarian Society.

My experiences in South Africa influenced my career.

Disobedience landed me in jail.

Son #4: “GANDHI!”

Clearly…

Leadership Education validates its tenets…

through the illustration of this game!

Who educated these children?!

They did.

I would like to go on record…

for the fact that I came in second place…

and no, all of my questions were not related…

to pop culture after all…

but thank you.

The winner?

Son #3.

Yes, that “Idiot’s Guide to Cigars” toting…

Jane Eyre hating kid!

Lots of tough questions…

and at least 5 shouts…

of “DR. KING!”…

from my “nephew” Chad…

finally produced…

the card he was looking for!

Many hours later…

and still no power in sight…

we excavated the rental…

and went in search of a restaurant with power!

Yes, we were rear ended on the way…

and later it took #3, Chad and myself…

two hours to retrieve Hero Hubby…

from a 15 hour travel adventure.

But in the end…

we were a stronger tribe…

and much smarter, far more rested donkeys…

even if we weren’t warmer ones…

since the house was a balmy…

49 degrees inside

when the power returned!

See you Friday,

TeriSig

Pressing In, Bearing Down and Stepping Back

“There is more to life than increasing its speed.”  ~Mohandas K. Gandhi


Clearly…

my life for the past few months…

has consisted of to-do lists…

responsibilities…

and moving…

at times rather rapidly…

to the next decision or task.

Yesterday found me…

along with 3 of my 5 children…

at the beach…

staying over with Son #1…

after the party of a dear family friend.

Son #2 had to work…

so came home with his dad and grandparents.

Sure…

there were many things still looming…

as “unfinished” on my list.

And as I felt the pressure mounting…

yet again…

I decided enough was enough.

My kids are straining…

under this ever-present pressure as well.

After we went to church together in the morning…

met one of the most fascinating people…

I have ever had the privilege of listening to…

speak…

Son #3…

who could normally…

run, flip, and unicycle circles…

around 10-12 people with ease…

declared, “I’m tired and need a nap.”

While he slept…

Son #1 and I…

took #4 and #5…

to the LEGO store…

grabbed Starbucks…

visited about work, life…

and caught up on friends…

we’d seen in Seattle.

(#1 and #2 didn’t come along to “Snowmaggedon.”)

As we drove back to Son #1′s…

we witnessed this sunset over the ocean…

picked up a then-well-rested #3…

and went to dinner…

at a favorite beach restaurant…

before we headed home.

My continuing post…

was one of the things…

I traded…

for fellowship and rest.

And I don’t feel a bit sorry.

I hope this week…

or sometime very soon…

you, too…

will ignore the tyranny of the urgent…

for fellowship, a breath or two…

and blessed rest.

We all need it.

See you Wednesday for more Seattle highlights!
TeriSig

Beautiful and Profound Paradoxes,1

Congratulations to Ashlee DePhillippo!  Ashlee, you have a seat at the FATJEF on Saturday, March 3, 2012, in Rancho Cucamonga, at the Goldy S. Lewis Center

 

paradox [ˈpærəˌdɒks] n.

A person or thing exhibiting apparently contradictory characteristics.

So…

Seattle…

the week of January 16th.

“Clean Out My Brother’s Belongings Week”…

more aptly titled…

“Snowmaggedon.”

I can’t remember when…

I’ve both dreaded and subconsciously feared…

anything more.

Armed with Sons #3-#5…

the four of us left at an insanely early hour…

in order to make our 2:00 p.m. commitment.

We landed to see this.

 

It’s a good thing the words were spelled out clearly here!

While the surroundings were quite familiar…

(comforting, even…)

for a moment…

I thought we took a wrong turn!

Huge, white flakes were voraciously descending…

from a dense and totally-socked-in-sky.

It.was.freezing!

When we got to the rental car building…

Son #3 came through in the clutch.

“Please, for the love…

of everything moral and decent…

do not tell me…

that the guy driving up…

is in our rig.”

Two words: Mini-Van.

I digress in order to say…

that I simply love, love…

love it when my children exhibit trust!

We weren’t even to the counter yet.

The atmosphere in line…

was somewhere just below…

full blown panic…

and I marveled at how well…

I could relate…

given the emotional build up…

to the events I was facing.

Sons #4-#5…

were practically wearing…

“Yes, we’ve grown up…

in the Sunshine State” badges…

as they frolicked out front…

throwing snowballs at one another…

while possibly inadvertently pegging…

a few innocent bystanders.

If you were one and reading…

I truly am sorry.

Truth be known…

I had been mulling over…

the possibilities of being stuck.

I just piled this…

on top of the rest of my totally…

unsubstantiated worries!

I settled on a steed…

(Suburban)

that was now clipping along…

at a rather brisk pace…

in order to meet the deadline…

of arriving at the University of Washington…

Hec Edmundson Pavilion…

for a presentation…

honoring my brother, Tim.

There are very few things…

that I can think back upon…

in the life of my brother…

that were easily executed.

Therefore, the present circumstances…

should’ve come as no surprise.

Oh, he made it look that way…

over and over again…

but my,my…

can’t looks be deceiving?

If the shoe were on the other foot…

he would most definitely chime in here…

and state that my attendance…

at his sporting events…

was the part…

that was anything but easy.

Ron Bollinger and Tim…

coached basketball together for years.

Lots of them.

Inclement weather…

snow, sleet, nor hail…

would keep us…

and our dear friends, the Browns…

from this auspicious occasion.

Ron is a part of Friends of Hoop

and every year they host a huge…

tournament over the weekend in America…

that honors Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Some of the games are even televised.

While I grew up in Seattle…

I left there many years ago…

for Southern California…

where we were going to live for one year.

That was 28 years ago.

Hec Ed was where I graduated.

I love this landmark.

That day…

it took on even more significant meaning.

We were ushered inside…

to the VIP section…

where we watched a game.

Loved it.

A beautiful honor and privilege.

The building is immense…

the game was exciting…

the crowd enthusiastic.

Mostly because there were…

even more games to come!

Except for the part…

where I know…

beyond the shadow of a doubt…

my brother was rolling his eyes…

and heaving a huge sigh.

Yes…

there was a rather large box of M & Ms…

that perhaps in an exciting moment…

got jostled from my purse…

and bounced…

VERY LOUDLY…

down every.single.step…

into each and every section…

below me.

It got very quiet.

Mostly…

because the sound resembled…

gun fire, I think.

Son #3…

“You couldn’t have gotten DOTS?!”

Between games…

they honored my brother…

by bringing Ron and myself…

center court…

while they showed this…

and read some humbling…

yet incredible things.

Interesting that my brother was also both.

And surrounded himself daily…

with equally great individuals.

In Western Civilization…

we laud this type of recognition.

It certainly is both a privilege and an honor.

But we can tend to take it way too far…

by attributing it to success.

My brother was insanely successful…

but the paradox will hopefully…

not only surprise you…

but also make you think.

I know I certainly have…

and will continue to do so.

That, my friends…

becomes significant legacy.

 

So very grateful that my kids got to live it.

Can’t wait to share more,
TeriSig

How Are You These Days?

Just a quick reminder to be sure and leave a comment if you are planning on attending the FATJEF, March 3, 2012, at the Goldy S. Lewis Center in Rancho Cucamonga.  FATJEF Coordinator, Deena Ortiz, is giving away a seat to this event Friday, Feb. 3, here on TommyMom!

 

This inquiry comes my way…

nearly each and every day right now.

While I adore being American…

I can safely say…

that our primary area of weakness…

and dysfunction as a culture…

is undoubtedly death.

It’s not dinner table…

or social gathering…

discussion material.

Ever.

Sadly, I think few…

will embrace it enough…

to realize what an incredible teacher…

sculptor…

and molder of character it really is.

Friday’s post…

will highlight…

some great things…

about my brother Tim…

from my recent trip to Seattle.

For today…

I’d like to share…

in as non-threatening terminology as possible…

answers and personal observations…

to the above question.

Because it’s good to clear the air from time to time…

as it makes for greater growth…

when honesty moves to the forefront…

forcing you to face some things.

Not always pleasant…

or even gentle…

but necessary.

At least it’s necessary…

if you’re an individual…

that desires to continue to grow…

change…

and develop for the better.

Son #4…

recently purchased this.

You may…

(or may not)…

recognize her…

as a beefed up version…

of this Ninjago.

I introduced her here in July…

and currently…

personally relate to her newfound look.

She remains the only female…

in this particular LEGO craze.

When he arrived home with her…

I executed an extremely mature…

level-headed and calculated act as his mother.

I took her…

and promised a replacement!

I mean after all…

I’m dominated by male influence…

throughout my life!

“Give me a break, kid.”

(I actually uttered that.)

With a gracious smile…

he turned her over…

and reminded me…

that I owed him a new spinner.

Yesterday afternoon and evening…

I got around to checking out my cards.

I’m confident that you would all agree…

from time to time…

this is a productive life activity.

I’m personally coming from a worldview…

that doesn’t involve fate…

but rather evaluation of how…

I’m choosing to respond…

to present circumstances…

in light of my faith.

Again…

it can be a productive…

yet painful activity.

Here are the first two cards…

that depict my current life.

Yep, Whirlwind…

along with the constant temptation to Smoke Screen.

Regardless of whether or not my brother had died…

how many folks…

are playing these puppies out…

right alongside me…

in culture today?!

The whirlwind I’m currently experiencing…

has very little to do with my own making.

I’m finding my brother was a legend…

in more than one arena.

At times…

I feel a personal assistant would be in line…

in order to keep up with who he was…

and all he accomplished in a given day!

But then…

true honesty prompts me to realize…

many things…

about this particular topic/category of life.

Regardless of whether the source…

is internal or external…

how I respond…

makes or breaks both velocity…

as well as G-Forces!

I’m finding…

that success…

in all things whirlwind related…

simply involves…

faithfully doing the next right thing.

It’s most definitely the calm…

in the eye of any storm.

There isn’t a lot of fanfare…

hooplah…

or applause….

but at the end of the day…

as well as this life…

it all adds up…

to the sum total of your impact.

Some final clues:

Whirlwinds are caused by both positive…

and negative factors.

Examples of each?

Investing in others…

aiming for effectiveness vs. attractiveness…

realizing no positive investment or random act…

pays negative dividends in the end.

Negatives?

Thinking that activity equals productivity…

that “keeping up with the Joneses”….

in any and all areas of life…

is a genuine, honest template of reality…

just to name a few.

And then there’s the Smoke Screen card.

What I was initially struck by here…

was the obvious conflict this destructive act brings.

I mean…

look at the guy, would you?

Smiling on the outside…

can produce true angst on the inside…

where grief is concerned.

And make no mistake.

Death is not the only initiator of genuine grief.

Know your limits…

and practice productive self-care…

which is not to be confused with self-focus.

Have you noticed that wallowing…

is one of the most unproductive…

personally destructive activities…

to vibrant leadership there is?

I don’t care where the venue…

of said leadership is located…

be it home or stadium.

Concentrate on the care piece…

and the focus piece moves to the background…

where it belongs!

I love the next card.

Stand Tough.

Life involves lots of battles….

regardless of your calling…

vocation…

and mission.

Standing Tough…

and constantly honing this life skill…

eventually produces even greater strength…

coupled with vulnerable, healthy weakness…

that becomes a give and take…

amongst those traveling this life journey alongside you.

Practice Standing Tough…

because it is a continuous practice.

More and more…

I’m convinced zero arrive.

(That would be a Smoke Screen…

in which case…

please refer to the above!)

The gold card here…

is the Boomerang.

Leadership Education…

has very few tangible measures…

but this would be one.

What you throw out…

give away…

practice…

hurl…

and (gulp) model through example…

is beyond-the-shadow-of-a-doubt…

without exception…

guaranteed-with-money-in-the-bank…

going to come back to you.

End of discussion…

because talk is cheap…

but results are priceless.

So…

how are you these days?

I hope with some honest introspection…

you can say that you’re doing okay…

answering from the ideology…

that we’re all works in progress.

I’ll tell you that I’m hurting…

I’m learning to embrace a new normal…

attempting to evaluate many things…

from a more enlightened perspective…

as to the true brevity and changing nature…

of this life and its circumstances…

prioritizing things differently…

and realizing more and more…

that life…

this precious life…

is one of the paramount teachers…

of all things.

That…

and the incredible grace of God…

in this Ninjago Chick’s life…

will insure…

that everything turns out fine!

Grateful for this spin,
TeriSig

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