The posts that I have shared regarding my relationship with Son #3, have quite possibly, gotten more response than any others I have posted here. Many of you e-mailed me privately, sharing about your own issues and lack of competent skills in coping effectively with someone that has ADD/ADHD.
One of the purposes of TommyMom is to share candidly and openly about the journey…in pursuing Leadership Education while living life. Sadly, there was a point in time, where Son #3 and I were barely speaking to one another. The wall between us had been built brick by brick, fueled by misunderstandings that were the mortar; held together by a myriad of justifications.
Enter Dr. DeMille, and the opportunity to take the class “The Student Whisperer.” The class was life changing…for those that allowed it to be! The information given and exercises offered are now available in book form. They are clear, concise, challenging and can be executed at your own pace.
Anyone…and I do mean anyone…desiring to cultivate responsible, solid, intimate relationships with others…that foster understanding, and an appreciation for where someone else is coming from…should read this book!
Warning: It will involve change. And that change begins with YOU.
The Student Whisperer is available for pre-order. You may follow this link to further information.
Tuesday…
was a banner day for Son #3.
He participated in…
a drum exhibition…
at the Riverside County Fair.
The Fair…
in our family…
isn’t known for finesse…
pizazz…
or top priority activities.
We attend…
sporadically.
And…
it helps…
if they’re letting…
folks in for free!
I’m quite certain…
you’re “getting it.”
This fact…
coupled with…
DRUMS…
didn’t have me…
cracking the sheets at dawn…
with anticipation…
for participation!
( I may be producing buttons…
with “Anticipation for Participation”…
plastered on them. So hold that thought!)
Do you…
see a pattern here?
It’s all about me.
I honestly…
don’t think…
we mean to do it…
but whenever…
something someone else…
is pursuing…
isn’t…
within the scope…
of our interests…
or personal pursuits…
we can tend to focus…
on ourselves.
In doing so…
we’re missing out…
on quite a lot, actually!
This exhibition…
was amazing!
The “mentees”…
demonstrated…
exercises in listening…
that were quite tricky…
and intricate.
They each performed…
while the mentor…
encouraged…
supported…
and prompted…
in some cases…
from the side.
This is possible…
because Kevin…
is a genuine mentor.
One who critiques…
himself…
his own abilities…
and skill sets…
and strives…
for intimate relationships.
As a result…
he knows…
exactly what it takes…
to bring out the best…
in each student.
As long…
as you strategically…
sat back a few rows…
your hearing…
remained intact!
They performed…
a group piece…
to a song…
entitled…
“Everyone is Happy When I Hit the Drums.”
Son #2…
who graciously attended…
asked if we could poll the audience…
regarding that statement.
Perhaps…
my incredible father…
who would be…
in attendance…
rain or shine…
like or dislike…
summed it up best…
“I haven’t heard…
anything quite like that…
since a guy at Boeing…
played ‘Jingle Bells’…
on a riveting gun!”
But despite our differences…
Son #3…
knows that we’re…
honestly interested…
because he’s interested…
want to help him…
achieve his dreams and goals…
and be his best…
love him…
and are so very proud…
even when he’s marching…
to the beat…
of a different drummer!
There’s nothing…
more important…
to his true education…
than him possessing…
this knowledge.
Fast forward…
from the horrible “then”…
of three years ago…
to “now”.
I couldn’t be…
prouder…
or feel more privileged…
to be the mother…
of such…
an extraordinary…
young man!
It takes effort…
to be a great mentor.
But making the choice…
and putting forth the effort…
produces…
happy souls…
and people…
thriving in…
their full potential.
Because…
no matter how loud…
you shout…
about expectations…
forms…
definitions of…
achievement and success…
they always…
really hear…
what it is…
you’re whispering.
Teri,
Wow!!! How inspirational this is. The way you write (speak) about son #3, I could hear your joy for him. That was truly amazing to read.
Thank you for sharing.
Gigi
Question? How do I go about homeschooling Rachel?? She just hates going to school…..too many things going on. Kids can be so cruel. It’s hard when you’re outcast as different.
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Amazing post, Teri!! You are so on target!
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Teri,
I think that why your posts on Son #3 hit such a note with all of us is we can all relate with our own personal one kid who we hit a wall with or we struggle to reach in our homeschool/life endeavors. Sadly it is us not them and I think we are all in awe at your honesty about this reality. We grasp at the belief we can do it too. Your voice, attitude and posts on his blog serve as a mentor to all of us to listen, follow the 7 keys, drink the proverbial koolaid and seize the moment in our own lives. Thanks for helping us all face and embrace that one kid who oozes greatness but is so outside the box we nearly miss our opportunity to rise to their level.
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*snif* *snif*…what a great story. So much of what you said really rings true. As a born-and-bred conveyor belt parent, I often think that success looks like one thing…reading, writing, and arithmetic, followed by intense study, oratory, and written papers… I get so worked up with worry when one of the kids looks like they are “playing” at something. Often, my disappointment seeps out of my pores and my child(ren) are conscience of my feelings. This leads to one of two things:
1) A child who then begins to do work to please me.
2) A child who feels like they aren’t “enough”
Both of these results are only detrimental to my child’s growth as a leader. Your blog today was another reminder that relationship, relationship, relationship is where it all begins.
Get out of their way and let them take the lead.
Kiss, Kiss Teri.
Joelle
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#3 looks like is very happy. How exciting that he had the opportunity to particpate in this day.
Through The Good, The Bad and The Ugly (which many of us have never seen, though it does exsist), you are on AMAZING family.
I am glad that I am able to know your family and have met severel members of your extended family.
PS…Grandpa looks like he had a wonderful time!
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It’s like that quote from John C. Maxwell,”People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” Our children especially. This can be hard when you have multiple children (like 4!), and sometimes, yes, we are not interested in everything they are interested in. My oldest daughter is my tough kid. Right now she is super into hair, fashion, make-up- super girlie stuff. I was born and raised a tomboy. Sweat pants are my usual uniform and I’d rather climb a tree than get a pedicure any day! But, I am starting to realize that it isn’t so much about painting our nails together as it is putting aside the time especially for her, doing something SHE loves, and the beautiful conversations that naturally occur while we are doing it. Thanks for your example, Teri! We are all learning.
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